Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?

Once you have been hurt by a bad relationship, it is hard not to compare others to that previous relationship. You have to learn that everyone is not like the person you were once in a relationship with. That all relationships are different and have there ups and downs. Does not mean you will be hurt again in the same matter.

There are many factors coming into play when comparing others to your bad experience. First off, it's a very natural thing to do. When we experience something horrible, we want to make sure the next time is better. Our psyche tends to focus on the negative more automatically as well, so we are "looking out" for these things. Consciously or unconsciously. But in that vein, it can be harmful to you if you are looking out for signs that have been part of your experience with someone else, which may or may not be any problem with the other people at all. So when you compare "everyone", the question is - are you being fair to them? It may be you need to take your time and let go of the past experience, take the lessons you need, and leave the rest. This can be a long process, but it allows you to move on. It may be you are recognizing a behaviour pattern you are allowing others to have around you which is harmful to you (in which case you need to challenge that) It may be you are just worried about having more negative experiences and it's okay after you thought it through for each person. It's perfectly okay to be honest with that thought process to your friends.

You might compare everyone to your bad relationship because it was a negative experience thats at the back of your mind, it may make you think if its happened before it can happen again but try to remember not everyone is like the person who was involved in the bad relationship you had, and in time it will be easier to deal with, once you've accepted and realised that its understandable why you compare it but you can also move on from it, not everyone will treat you negatively x

Unfortunately, bad memories tend to stay engraved more in your mind than the good ones. I think it is normal to compare your past relationship with someone else, but don't forget that person is not the same as the other. ;)

There is a saying that goes; "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know". We sometimes associate with what we know to be true then take a chance on the unknown. To get past this I think you can focus on being more aware (live in the here and now), be accepting (of the past as well as the here and now), and deciding to stick to what you want in life. It isn't always roses and sunshine. But when you live for now, in this moment, you'll see things a whole lot differently. :)

Because that is maybe what you believe relationships to be. I went through an abusive relationship and I compare my wonderful relationship now to that one. It was the only one I had ever known so that's what I thought a relationship was.

Its human nature to see the bad in things. From an evolutionary perspective, it's to ensure survival, so in that way its just your mind's way of trying to protect you from further harm.

Sometimes, we compare everyone, our friends, families, loved ones to a bad relationship because we would sometimes feel that everyone else is the same, that if someone does bad to you, they must be just like the person from your bad relationship, even if they may be completely different. We tend to associate people who may do us wrong at one point with people who always did us wrong in a bad relationship because what they have both done were both bad, so they are same in that regard. The only difference is how often they do bad compared to the person in the bad relationship.

You probably compare everyone to your bad relationship because you probably were hurt a lot which causes you to have this wall that you don't see anything good

It is rather tempting and normal. When we are not content or insecure about a situation we tend to find others nearby that seem more satisfying and fulfilling. Don't compare your relationship to others though. Work on your current problem which is your personal life. See what is wrong and communicate. When you find yourself happy, comparing won't be something you'll go for. Stay strong