Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?

Because we never forget bad things. We learn how to live with them. How to overcome those obstacles. I don’t think we reach to a point when the memory just disappear , but I do believe that we reach a point in our way where we learn how to handle it. You may be comparing everyone to your bad relationship because you’re scared to fail a gain, to be hurt again, to suffer. To fall in love with someone that will make you the same harm as the last person. Maybe you just have to give yourself time to heal from that, to realize how to live your live without living in the past.

It is in human nature to look around us for reference. It's what causes a lot of feelings of shame on certain topics. When dealing with a bad relationship it's important to stay honest with yourself and know the things others might display aren't always true. sometimes people who are in a bad relationship will pretend everything is fine whilst in public. so when you are looking around for reference, take the things you see with a grain of salt. it's not per say a bad thing to look around you when you are in a unhealthy relationship, it keeps your compass pointed north. This is important so that your unhealthy relationship doesn't start to seem normal to you because the only thing worse than a bad relationship is blaming yourself for it.

Because it's the natural thing to do. We are fearful of experiencing a repeat of the bad relationship. When we trust someone and they hurt us, it takes time to move beyond that pain and trust another person. We do not want to relive that pain, so we are suspicious of the motives of the people we are in subsequent relationships with. Unfortunately, it takes the new partner demonstrating that they are not like the one who hurt us. We cannot take people at their word about certain things, and matters of the heart is one of those. Be patient with yourself. Sometimes it takes self-care to move beyond the bad relationship.

a bad relationship leaves us with some scars of insecurity due to the unpleasant experiences. There is a constant worry and fear of going through the same emotions and experiences again. This puts us on high alert and we tend to compare all with our bad relation to be sure of not repeating the last pattern. Sometimes , in the process, we tend to be over critical or judgmental or worried. Its all the survival instinct. With a loving support and awareness , we gradually gain confidence and higher self esteem and get past this with it . Its a process

It might have left you quite scarred and you brain always anticipates future in comparison to past events. Like when you touch something hot, next time you hesitate to even go anywhere near it. So the first evaluation method you opt for would be to compare something with you already faced, and often negative memories are stronger than positive ones. It could also be that you haven't totally accepted your relationship and are becoming more pessimistic in attempt to save yourself or others from getting hurt like you did. I hope this helps. Love, don't worry, everything will start making sense again. :)

This kind of thing is totally, completely normal. Everyone does this; you're not alone. We do this because after experiencing something negative, it tends to stick in our minds for longer than when a positive thing does. We tend to latch on, unfortunately, to the negative sides of things/situations, and sometimes even relationships, which is both unhealthy and harmful to our mental health, but it isn't something we can prevent or help. We can sometimes be scared that an action or even a full relationship will be repeated by someone who may even be completely to the past relationship! It's important to remember though, that we are not comparing people: we're comparing relationships.

i think it regards to "I am supreme'' which make anyone want everybody pass with same his problems, to feel that no one is better than him .. everyone needs see how others will do in same his situation .. all of us want monitoring other people and want be safe from their mistakes .. "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle, or your middle to someone else's end. Don't compare the start of your second quarter of life to someone else's third quarter.” “It has nothing to do with who I am as compared to everyone else."

This happens often, it's in our nature. We are always going to compare something that had a major impact on us so that we can prevent it from happening again; we're protecting our hearts. Try to change this comparison to reflection. Refelct on the past and compare how you used to feel to how you feel now. Positive change? You're down the right path. Negative change? Let's look into that. Remember, every relationship is different and every person is different as well. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and bask in the happiness that comes from the new knowledge!

People tend to look for patterns in things, especially relationships: it gives us the illusion of predictability and therefore having some control over events. If you find yourself hesitant to embark on new relationships over the fear that it will turn out just like your last bad one, then you're exhibiting this tendency to look for patterns, where there may not be any. In some ways, we use it to avoid potentially feeling hurt, as we've flagged up the past relationship as a danger, so much like a wonky algorithm, we'll look for any evidence that this new one is similar. You've got to ask yourself how trustworthy your human - not AI - algorithmic techniques are.

Because it was a negative result and negative results way on you more the positive ones. You are attempting to shield yourself, by using a defense mechanism in order for you not to go through the same emotional trauma. Bad relationships are necessary for you to be able to recognize a good one. Take it as a learning experience and not as a way that all relationships will be. Making yourself emotionally vulnerable is one of the most difficult thing to do but allowing it to happen will create a opportunity for you to really live and appreciate life.