Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?

Why do you compare everyone to your bad relationship? :-) It's reflection! Maybe you're feeling insecure, feel uncomfortable... If you're in a bad relationship, then you feel every day be worse, likely you're in need of something you're not getting with this relationship. It could be anything, really a lot of things. Love with Trust and Security are major possibilities of something you're missing. And when you see those things displayed in other people (with their relationships which is looks very nice), you crave it. Really, I would need more information about your situations clearly to take a better analyze, I am not in your shoes. Because I always see my own mirror, keep my positive self-talk, and i realize that comparing about our life with each others is killing. :-)

It is only normal to compare the present to past experiences. It's actually human instinct. The best way to get past it is to tell yourself "that's the past, that's a different person."

Comparing is because you want to be better or to show that you are not weak and important. You also want to make sure everything and everyone is like you so you don’t have to hide. This is why we can chat! Just chatting really helps. You can also get help on the growth path. It includes short and calming exercises that help you grow stronger. I recommend taking one step a day. We are our own selves and we do not need to compare. People who bully are because they are jelous where bullied before! I hope this helps ;)

Could it be you are afraid of getting hurt that way again, so you are looking for the warning signs?

Sometimes when you go through something tough, like a bad relationship, especially if it is your first relationship, then you believe that is the standard for a relationship. You may go searching for a relationship like that or not want to be in a relationship that isn't like that. It is always good to be aware of what type of relationship you are in and that it is not harmful to you.

Past experiences can make you less trusting of something. It's completely common for that to happen as we think that the same thing might happen again. But you have to realize that this is a new person than the one from your past bad relationships. If you keep thinking that bad history will repeat itself, then it will be harder for you to move on and start fresh on things, so it's better to let go.

Oftentimes, trauma and abusive or toxic relationships leave a lasting impact on the way you see situations, new relationships, and other people. Many people who have gotten out of toxic or abusive relationships find themselves constantly searching for red flags because they feel like if they could have seen it sooner they would have saved themselves a lot of pain. This causes them to panic when they see something in a person that reminds them of another bad relationship. Even if it's a little thing, such as a certain speech pattern or habit that has nothing to do with someone's character, it can be hard not to make connections and draw conclusions.

We can challenge our perspective to see this comparison with other eyes. How? With a question. What if you're not just comparing, but you're actually perceiving what qualities are lacking in your own relationship? If we unravel the meaning of comparison, you arrive to the conclusion that you're just discerning with your natural intuition whatever is lacking in your life. Despite knowing that comparisons do not always involve something intuitive that is positive, in this case, you even state that you're in a bad relationship, which confirms that you're just aware of what you deserve. Discernment and awareness can come from understanding what qualities you perceive in the world that are not being manifested in your life. This is the heart of true comparison.

You are afraid of having history repeat itself, which is totally reasonable. You just have to acknowledge that that was one bad apple, and there's plenty of better people for you out there.

If you've had a bad/abusive relationship, it's natural to expect that everyone you date in the future may turn out the same as the last. People do have a tendency to put their best side forward when relationships are new, but moving along slowly in new relationships tends to be the best key to not expecting bad things to happen.