I can't get angry at the people I care about, is there something wrong with me?
226 Answers
Moderated by Joe Nelson, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Doctor of Social Work
Updated: May 1, 2022
calmPalm17
on
Oct 12, 2018
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I think everyone gets angry at the people they care about, partially BECAUSE they care about them so much. When we are emotionally invested in someone, it can bring up lots of intense emotions. I find that a lot of the time, anger is actually rooted in another feeling. A classic example is that when a little kid wanders into the street. The parent yells at them and is angry, but they are angry because they were scared. Another would be how people sometimes get angry when someone dies, but it's also tied up with sadness. When feeling angry at someone you care about, it can be helpful to try to identify if there is another emotion causing it. At the end of the day: no, there is nothing wrong with you. Anger is a completely natural (and sometimes very productive) emotion. What matters most is what you do with that anger, and learning how to not act on it, without trying to suppress it or pretend it's not there.
GEMINIALDRIDGE8D
on
Oct 13, 2018
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Not at all! I’m not an angry person at all. I rarely get angry at anyone, especially without reason. But I myself find I can never get angry at the people I care about and love. They’re only people I argue with, but I cannot get angry at them. If they do something wrong and I should be angry, I may seem agitated slightly at first, but I get more upset than angry. And if I do get annoyed, it takes an apology, sometimes not even that, for me to be in a good mood again. I’d rather never get angry at the people I care about than not have them, so I don’t hold grudges and I can’t stay angry.
Anonymous
on
Oct 25, 2018
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Getting angry at people I care about is a normal thing.
because anger as all emotions come and go.
I can not reject any of them.
For the attempt to reject some of them gives rise to much anxiety.
It makes us feel inadequate But inadequacy only makes sense in a sense of what is appropriate.
But who else really knows? If we think about that we only know what was taught us as a truth.
But what is the truth really? We thought about a lot of things that we think that is the truth. But it is of fact?
Caringmoon07
on
Nov 14, 2018
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Just because you find difficulty getting angry at loved ones does not mean there is something wrong with you. Everyone deals with anger in his or her own way. If you feel the approaches you are currently taking are not helpful, then you should reconsider how you solve problems where anger is involved. It is okay to try out different things as well. Just because something works for one person, does not mean it will work for you. You might find that you deal with your anger differently depending on the other person involved and that is okay, too.
Here4Anything
on
Nov 16, 2018
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There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. During my first relationship, my girlfriend would get upset at me all the time because I could never get angry with her. Sometimes love and caring is just too great for one person and it ends up so you can’t get mad. I can promise you that there is never anything wrong with you simply because you can’t get mad at anyone. Just keep being you, and doing what you feel you need to. You can try to explain to them that you can’t, but you don’t even have to do that. Just staying the way you are is helpful for everyone
SaraHoffman
on
Dec 6, 2018
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No. There is nothing wrong with you many people feel this way. However I would want to watch out because some people will realize that and walk all over you because they know you won't get mad.
Lemi
on
Jan 10, 2019
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No, there is nothing wrong with it. If you are that aware of that person's feeling and always have that 'brake' to stop you from blurt your feeling out at him/her, it just means you are just care enough about this persons feeling so you thread it carefully. But this doesnt mean you just keep silent and hold your thought when you are disagreeing with his/her , though.
You try to deliver the message as best as possible without letting the emotion get the best of you. If you are doing it along this line, then no , nothing is wrong with you whatsoever.
Anonymous
on
Jan 20, 2019
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There isn't anything wrong with your inability to not gery angry. Being upset with someone you care about is natural and it is health to be honest with those people about how you feel. Allowing yourself to talk to them honestly can help to prevent anger. On the other hand holding your feeling in and not talking with those that upset you can cause you to become angry. I think as long as you are having honest conversations about anything that may bother you you are doing just fine and will have healthier relationships. I hope you can continue to stay not angry.
NancySV1
on
Jan 24, 2019
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No there is nothing wrong with not getting angry with the people you care about. That is a noble trait that I wish a lot of people possessed. Just know that even if you do gen angry or upset with your loved ones, that its okay and it does not mean that you care for them any less. I hope that this helps. I will practice not getting angry at the ones I care about, I think I will take a lesson from this question and try to see my loved ones as people who make mistakes just like me.
LittleMissJoy
on
Feb 21, 2019
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I don't think it would be fair to say there is something wrong with you, simply because you can't get angry at the people around you. You may just be the kind of person who does not have a temper and is rational thinker. You may not react with anger towards the people you care about but that is not a bad thing. At best, the people around you feel comfortable and more likely to be open and honest with you about things because of your cool, calm reaction. Plus, anger is only a good thing to feel if the person can turn it towards a better outcome.
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