How do I know if I'm overreacting?

Before reacting, step back and ask yourself what the worst part of the situation is. Ask yourself whether it will matter a day, week, month, year from now. Try placing yourself in their position, and think of how you'd expect others to react. Take deep breaths and try to ask yourself what really bothers you about the situation?

I order for you to know if that's the case, first I'd suggest you be mindful of your thoughts and see if you are committing one of these fallacies: -Mind reading- you assume you know exactly what people think; -Mental Filter- you filter out anything that is good from your thoughts, seeing only the bad things; -Prediction- you assume you know the future; -Snowflake effect- you believe if something bad happens that will lead to more chaos, and that chaos will generate more chaos, and that chaos will create awful things, and you end up believing that if A happens Z will immediately be your destiny; -Catastrophizing- you believe always in the worst case cenario, not because you are certain that it is true, but rather because you are too afraid of living in the reality that you can't, in fact, know if your thoughts are necessarily true or not. There are lots of other fallacies you may fall into if you're not mindful enough of your thoughts.

You are the only one who can really tell if you are overreacting or not. Other people have no right to tell you whether you are reacting an appropriate amount. Other people are not you. If you find a lot of people are telling you that you're overreacting, that you're sensitive, or whatever along those lines, those people are toxic unsupportive voices, even if they seem to have good intentions. You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and encourage your self-expression. It is normal and healthy to have reactions, feelings, and thoughts about things. We are humans and reactions are part of that. We cannot control what other people do, say, think, or how other people react - but we can control ourselves. With some acceptance that we do react, and some awareness of how we react, why react that way, what triggered that reaction and why that bothered us, can help. If we shine a light on our internal emotions, we can learn from them and learn how to use them in healthier and healthier ways. Good luck!

The concept of 'over reacting' is really told from a third person perspective - that is, from an objective point of view given any situation, if another person knows the same details, they would compare your reaction to your reaction, if they wouldn't react in the same way, they might consider it over reacting. The issue really is that we don't have an objective point of view when we're involved in the situation that's making us react - it's easier for a 3rd person to say "That's too much", when it's not really their argument, conflict or stresser. Generally speaking, if you feel wound up by something, wait a few seconds for the initial emotions to sink in, then take a deep breath and exhale slowly before you say anything. The deep breathing will give your head a chance to absorb what's happening and give your brain a chance to let the rational side 'kick in' and help look at the issue from a third person point of view. Take a step back emotionally before responding, put yourself in another person's shoes and picture what they feel might be an appropriate reaction.

First of all, I believe overreacting begins with imaginary thoughts that you believe "could" be true. I mean, assuming something that you can't really know. Ask yourself if your reaction is driven by the facts, or by the thoughts of what "could be" behind that fact. Overreacting always takes everything in the universe (I'm exagerating on purpose), all clues that point to one thing that makes you upset. Are you upset because a fact? Or are you upset because you thought something behind that fact and everything "seems to be connected"?

The way I know I am overreacting is when I start to say things that are hurtful to people that I really don't mean.

Charts can help a lot with pinpointing the source of emotions. Writing out what the situation was, what upset you, and how you reacted can be a great tool for exercising self-awareness.

I was trained to allow 3 days to subside before I respond to a 'charged' situation. By adopting the 3 day rule, the details of the 'charged' situation have the time to deepen within my mind and heart and I have been able to process the information from every direction. I notice that my response on day 3 is much different than the raw reaction I held on day 1. I have never regretted allowing 3 days to pass before my response. Then the 'overreacting' does not become and issue at all.

Every time something that makes you feel bad happens, try to imagine yourself from other point of view, and analyze if you are acting correctly. For example, someone said something non important, and didn't have in mind to offend you, instead it made you feel sad, angry, nervous. Try to imagine being in that someone's place, and understand that it really wasn't meant to be mean. It might be a good idea :)

Take a step back from the situation! Take some time, and when your emotions aren't as strong, think through the situation logically. Was your reaction based on emotions from other things going on in your life? Was your reaction more than the situation required? Asking questions like these, when you aren't as upset anymore, can help you clarify why you are feeling a certain way.