How can I stop saying nasty things while angry?

I used to have the same problem for a long time. And indeed I hurt so many people while I was angry. I did realize words can leave scars even if we didn't mean them. Here's what I did to solve this problem to some extent. *First, you will have to declare few people( in my case, three or four) on whom you won't shout no matter what happened. Choose wisely those people. You can even let them know. I know this might not solve the problem completely & it will take time, but it will definitely help you.

I have said some very very horrible nasty hurtful things to my partner which I completely regret...I feel so low when I do realize how hurtful the things I say to her...I now realize I need to think what will happen the next time I say something nasty to her and I either go for a walk and breath....or read a page on line about anger control...which I find helps me...but any other suggestions I will take with open arm

There are skills you can use to help yourself when youre angry. Try looking up the decider skills which helped me a lot.

I always remind myself with this quote when I find myself angry at some. "it's okay to be angry but never okay to be cruel". As difficult as this maybe, I've learnt over the years to walk away or not respond to someone when I am angry at them but to rather remove myself from the situation and calm down. I think the things I would love to say to him/her but don't say it. After I stop seeing red I often am thankful I didn't say all those nasty things because it would 1. never be able to be taken back and 2. I would not regret anything or feel guilty.

When you feel yourself getting angry, just take a deep calming breath and count backwards from 30. Maybe even 50. That always helps. If not, say bubbles instead of your nasty words. I guarantee that one or both of you will start laughing and forgetting why you were angry in the first place.

It’s ok to be angry it’s a normal human emotion but we can hurt others by projecting our anger onto them and hurting them in many ways including saying hurtful things. Sometimes we can choose not to say nasty things because we might regret them but sometimes the words just come out before we can stop them. Often this is because we have been suppressing our anger towards someone without letting it out in a healthy way. Sometimes it’s best to take time out for a while to calm down before trying to express in an unhurtful way how we feel. Not so easy!

Try keeping a journal. There are journal apps that you can even download onto your phone. Whenever you have an angry thought, direct it in your journal. If the thoughts are directed to an individual, write that person a letter in your journal. Write all the things you want to say, no holds barred. It may give you a sense of release to get it all out on paper, without actually resorting to verbalizing it to the person.

I was finding that when I got into a fight with my girlfriend and felt hurt by what she was saying, doing and acting, I would heat up and get an absolutely unstoppable desire to hurt her back. I always regretted what I’d said the next day and even though I definitely believed and knew she had caused the problem in the first place I always found myself as the one that was apologising for my uncalled for actions. I hated the weakness of my actions and regretted being that person. My solution was,”and it worked “, I went to their phone number and changed their name to something to remind me and deter me from saying something I would surely regret. I would change her name too, DONT YOU DARE BE WEAK STOP, YOU’LL REGRET IT ETC NAME YOUR DESIRE TO NOT REACT AND WHEN YOU GO TO CALL OR TEXT YOULL READ WHY YOU SHOULDNT. You need to make a conscious decision to yourself while writing this message to adhere to your warning no matter what.

I usually stop, check my breathing style, count to ten, think calmly about the right response and then speak. Its just a 10 count as I've figured what to say calmly by then.

I instead tell the person that I would like to talk later when I am not angry. If the conversation is not unavoidable, I take a moment to breathe and recognize what I am trying to communicate.