How can I stop being insecure?

Some insecurity is natural, but for some, it can be too frequent, too intense. The natural varieties of insecurity arise in life situations which we are unprepared to deal with. We all face these sometimes. Maybe it’s public speaking, or some other occasional stressor. These can be dealt with by study, preparation, rehearsal, venting (on 7 cups!), etc; however, unhealthy insecurity is more persistent. It floods relationships and projects, thwarting need-fulfillment, and is sometimes called low self-esteem. I’ve lived with this for decades, and with help from a friend, I’m managing it. Here’s what works for me: Close your eyes. Find that child-self from the past, of whom you're most ashamed. Go over and embrace him, saying "You’re okay. You were just a little boy, doing the best you knew how.” Insecurity can be a signal of reticent self-hatred, it takes energy to maintain that! Acceptance of the reality that you qualify for as much love as the next person, can free up all that energy, which you can use for extending attention outside of the wounded self-concept; for kindness or simply attention to close family, academic cohorts, professional connections or others. My watchword: "Charity starts at home." Insecurity of course has its fertilizing effect of pushing people to achieve to “prove themselves”. So, in overcoming it, we then have to find new strategies for motivation in getting things done. That is a discussion largely outside the scope of this entry, but a few questions are included to foster critical thinking: How does self-acceptance affect your job, hobby or artistic performance? Can you still achieve progressive goals without relying on social recognition as a barometer to measure your self-worth? What drives naturally secure people to achieve?

A little homework. Ask your 2-3 close friends to write 10 good things about you. Keep them with you . This is your self esteem folder. Know that everyone feels insecure. This vulnerablity makes us human. Avoid people who make you insecure. Surround yourself with supportive people. Know that 8nsecurity is invisible. no one sees yours because they are too busy with their own insecurities .

You can stop being insecure by getting up everyday and telling yourself you're beautiful. Take little time out everyday and remind yourself the good things about yourself and slowly but surely you will start loving yourself and you will become more confident in your skin

Well, like most things, it's a long process. But, positive self talk goes a long way! One thing I learned was to say four positive things every time you catch yourself saying/thinking something negative. This is hard, and it is hard to catch yourself thinking negatively sometimes, but particularly when you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, your situation, and how others may view you it can be a great tool to stop and tell yourself four good things. Bonus points if they are positive things about yourself or your situation. :)

You can start to accept yourself for who you are - insecurities, flaws, failures, and the good stuff. We all have insecurities to a degree. We can't let them overshadow our entire identity though. It's can be hard work, but it's totally worth it. Loving and caring for yourself is a prerequisite to a wonderful joyous life.

Never ask for anyone's approval of yourself. Do not question your traits and do not compare it with others. Understand that we are all different in many ways and those many ways, you find your own beauty. There is no fat, skinny, tall, short, pretty, ugly, smooth-skinned, freckled face, white, brown, or black in confidence. All you got to have is the REAL you to gain confidence... and live it.

You can look in the mirror, look at yourself and tell yourself that you are an amazing and bautiful person. If you stare long enough, you will always be able to find some sort of imperfection; nobody's perfect. but, trust me on this when I say that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is perfectly imperfect. Sometimes, your flaws are what people love about you. Just keep that in mind.

By doing things that will make you feel good and improve your self-esteem. Also try changing the way you think about thing [Watch the video on Automatic thoughts].

Believe in yourself. It's a long process, but worth it. Everyone is insecure about something. Hard work and belief is the biggest help. Accept the things you can't change.

I don't think being insecure is something you can just turn off. I think the best way to help with your insecurities is tell yourself things that you currently don't believe. Sometimes I look in the mirror and feel ugly but I tell myself five times that I look good and am pretty and it helps my overall outlook.