How can I learn to control my emotions when I don't even know what they are?

This works for me but it might not work for you. Try to focus on what you do want to feel and think of things that make you feel that way.

Being Optimist n letting positive energy in. Knowing what emotion your going through is important. Giving a term to your emotions helps you to deal with it better.

Take some time to think about how you feel. Maybe you just see red and feel MAD. Most emotions are a combination of other emotions. Anger is frustration + loss of control, for example.

Something that might help you is a little mindfulness. Every time you feel something, this happens because of thoughts that you have (even if sometimes you are not aware of them). Although your instinct might be to run away from how you feel, if you stay in the moment, and try to analize those thoughts, and how they lead to emotions, you might understand your feelings better.

Take time to know yourself, Learn to observe our own attitude and emotional ups and downs. this can help to control our emotion, knowing when we are actually being emotional on certain things and asking ourselves why.

First of all, I would recommend looking at a feelings chart. Here's a good example of one: http://3diassociates.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/the-anger-funnel-feelings-chart.gif and here's another one: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/146789269079821448/ Look through them and see if you connect with one or more of those words. Once you have pinpointed what it is your are most likely feeling, try to see if you can figure out why you might feeling that way. Feelings and emotions are simply messages, inside of us, telling us constantly about what it is we need. Are all your needs being met? If not, is that why you may be feeling that way? If it's a positive emotion, are you allowing yourself to enjoy it and, if it's a negative emotion, what do you think your feelings are trying to let you know? Listen to yourself. Once you figure out what your feeling means to you, the chances of then stopping to chose what you wish to do about them become better. Ask yourself "What can I do to deal with this emotion constructively or in a way that serves me?" "What do I need, in order to feel better?" Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us or maybe even just dare to say something out loud so we can validate our self. Some of us find really creative, cathartic ways to do that, such as through expressive arts, like painting, writing, singing or dancing. If that's not your cup of tea, then why not talk to someone you know will not judge you and offer an attentive ear? Maybe you just need support from people who understand, like in a group that caters to your particular experience. Sometimes we don't need to DO anything! Sometimes, just accepting our feelings and letting ourselves know that it is perfectly ok to feel the emotions we are feeling can make a huge internal shift for us! Whatever the best answer is for you, you will find yourself feeling relief and acceptance, afterwards. Follow your intuition. Identify and seek to understand where the emotion is coming from. Know you have the power to make a choice about how to manage any feeling in your life and that they can be great friends to you, your feelings, not something to re-actively fear or reject. Hope this helps. Have a wonderful day! ;)!

Look deep inside yourself and realize that this is a normal part of life we are all meant to endure at some point. You can find inner strength only within yourself, so put trust into that. You're very much capable!

Often times, it's very difficult for us to recognize exactly what our emotions are. One thing to remember is that there are many coping skills with one can use that are fairly generalized. Deep breathing, muscle relaxation, and correction of maladaptive thinking can all help you feel happier and healthier, even if you don't fully recognize the reasons behind your feelings, or what your feelings are. Conversation about what you're feeling, whether with a Listener on 7cups or with a close friend, can also help you sort out your feelings, and come to more solid conclusions.

You have to identify them and understand to some extent your emotions before you can begin to try and control them.

This is a great question! Many people struggle with figuring out what they are really feeling, and then it results in such a behaviour that really perplexes you as to why you did such a thing.. only to later find out that you were really irritated in the first place but didn't realize it! Yes.. this happens often, but the great news is that you can learn more about yourself in order to be able to read yourself better when in the situation. A great exercise is to take short breaks during the day, and check in with yourself. 'How am I feeling now?' 'What do I need right now?' It is okay to feel 'numb' and lacking 'emotions'... simply notice that you are lacking feelings and notice how that feels... a bit paradoxical I know, but the idea is to be observant of yourself. The more you know about yourself, the better equipped you are. Talking to someone here or to a therapist, or writing in your diary / journal / blog. Anything really which gives you freedom of expression.. maybe even singing or dancing. The most important thing is not to judge yourself for whatever might come up though, instead be curious as to what brought this on. Be kind to yourself.. sometimes the 'Shoulds' that society teaches us how we should act and behave and feel in a certain situations block us from really getting in touch with ourselves, and honouring ourselves. Having clashing beliefs about ourselves, for example: Strong people do not cry, and I am a strong person so I should be able to handle this. - automatically makes us suppress and get in touch with what we are actually feeling.. probably resulting in lashing out onto something else even when we do not intend to. Nevertheless this behaviour once served you, and it's okay to honour it for what it does. In certain situations such as when in bereavement, certain situations cause you to having to suppress your emotions in order to get you through the first couple of days, in order to be functional during the funeral or wake... So be kind to yourself when you notice your behaviours, it is okay. The ''problem'' simply arise when the once functional mechanism becomes dysfunctional and that is where it invites you to get in touch with yourself, learning new ways how you can change or modify your behaviour if you so choose or want to. :)