Why are the chances of finding someone to love in the LGBT community so slim ?
Cadence
on
Dec 5, 2014
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Only about 1 in 10 people are gay, so undoubtedly there's going to be a less of a chance finding someone who is part of the LGBT community, rather than finding someone who is straight. Don't fret, however! With the internet becoming an increasingly popular tool for dating and matches, it's much easier to find someone in the LGBT community to love than finding someone in person.
Anonymous
on
Dec 5, 2014
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This question assumes the chances are slim, and as far as I know, there haven't been any studies to conclude such. Essentially, the process would be the same as finding love outside the LGBT community -- meet people who have similar interests, talk, date, and take things from there. There are fewer people in the LGBT community than otherwise, which can make it more difficult. However, if we take the very low percentage from a Gallup poll (which only surveyed the US and only asked if people identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender), there are still over 9 million US adults in the LGBT community. That's a lot of people! Imagine if we applied that same percentage to the global population of adults.
Other difficulties may come with location. The same Gallup poll found that conservative states tended to have a lower population of LGBT people than more liberal states, which makes a lot of sense. If you're in a place that isn't kind to LGBT folk, there may be far fewer of them around or they may be too frightened to congregate. That can make meeting others more difficult. Thankfully, the Internet can always help. There are many sites dedicated to helping LGBTQ+ people (and all others of non-cishet identities!) meet, become friends, and maybe more.
So yes, there are fewer of us, which means your pool of potential partners may be smaller, but that doesn't mean you can't find someone. It just means you have to know where to look. Like finding pants of just the right size and style.
Erynn
on
Dec 6, 2014
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I would challenge the idea that the LGBTQ community has slim chances of finding love, however I can certainly agree that there are hard parts about finding people when an LGBTQ identity can be so well hidden. People deal with this in a number of ways - some just wait and give it more time, some use online dating sites, and some join and/or hang our in LGBTQ friendly spaces where people are more likely to be Out or there may be a higher percentage of LGBTQ people in those areas. I'm sorry things are hard for you right now though - it sounds like you've been looking for a partner(s) for a while and not had much luck. :/ I hope things get better for you soon!
GwenTG
on
Dec 6, 2014
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The chances of finding love in the LGBT community are not so slim. Bringing together people of compatible sexual orientations and gender identities makes finding love easier, not harder. Finding love in general can be a long journey, but there's nothing about the LGBT community which hinders love more than the general population.
Annie
on
Aug 10, 2015
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Hmmmm, when we are hungry for love and hoping to connect with someone who can be our best friend and lover, it can get awfully discouraging. It seems like there are soooo few fish like us in the sea. This concern seems fairly universal! I have found that many people experience this frustration--both straight and LGBT, old and young. Going to clubs that focus on one's "group" can heighten the frustration, because, when people are in a noisy club, [1] it's hard to have a real conversation, [2] it can be hard to be our real selves, [3] it can feel superficial and cold, and [4] it can seem that people at clubs are just seeking an empty hook-up. So, what to do? I think that there are additional ways to meet people. For example: becoming active in volunteer groups organized to help the LGBT community, becoming involved in on-line communities that provide identification as L, G, B and T (and following guidelines for safety when meeting online acquaintances!); and joining a large group to participate in an activity you love (theatre, cycling, whatever). This last one increases the Total number of people you meet, which will statistically increase the number of LGBT people you meet! But the main thing, I think, is to be patient. Give it some time. The more you can radiate love and joy, the more you'll attract loving, happy people who are like you and want to be with you! I wish you all the best!
Aayla
on
Aug 5, 2019
LGBTQ+ Issues Expert
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Partly because the LGBT community is small if compared to the overall popoulation. But also because LGBT people come from different backgrounds and have different views, desires and needs, so it's not always easy to find someone whose views match yours. It may help to select the right environment to find someone to date - for example, if you're not into LGBT pubs or clubs, you can look in LGBT circles and cultural groups. Or if you use dating apps, you can try to specify as clearly as you can in your profile what it is that you look for, so you'll have a better chance to be contacted by someone who is right for you.
aShoulderToLean
on
Dec 5, 2014
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Acceptance in society is an inherent trait of humans. And in general people from LGBT community are not that expressive about showing their emotional state for the fear of loosing this acceptability within society.
Anonymous
on
Dec 5, 2014
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The LGBT movement has only progressed in the most open-minded and liberal countries, which means that only a small percentage of the world has accepted openly LGBT individuals; even then, this acceptance is often times begrudging. This LGBT individuals feeling as though their declaration of sexuality is not welcomed, and makes them reluctant to "come out" and openly join the LGBT community. Because of this, LGBT communities are often very small. The chances of finding someone compatible with yourself out of such a small pool are discouragingly slim.
Anonymous
on
Dec 7, 2014
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The LGBTQIA community is so much smaller than the straight community so most of the people in the LGBTQIA community are already taken. I know it's tough but you'll find someone!
Anonymous
on
Dec 27, 2014
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They are only slim if you think they are slim. It is hard to do but you have to put yourself out there and make it known that you want to find love in that community.
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