Why am I gay? I hate myself.

You're gay because that's the way God wanted you to be. Throughout history, people have found many ridiculous reasons to condemn people to hell, including skin color, nationality and sexual orientation. It's fair to judge the actions of other people, but not their souls. That's what's really meant by the quote, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." There have been studies that show that gay men have brain stems that are structurally different from those of straight men. Unless you had yours surgically altered so you could be gay, you're no more responsible for your sexual orientation than a straight man is for his. If it's any consolation, most of us grew up hoping we'd fall in love, get married, have kids and live the dream. It takes time to adjust to the reality that we're inherently gay. And having other people insist they know God's plan for our lives just creates confusion and self-hatred. If mere people knew so much, why wouldn't their lives be perfect? If you believe that God has a plan for your life and have known you were gay since childhood, you obviously didn't choose to be gay. And everything people quote from scripture has been translated multiple times from the original text, so true meanings get lost along the way. The commandment "thou shalt not kill" was closer to "thou shalt not murder" in its original form. The difference is subtle, but substantial. And people who think they have the power to condemn anyone to hell on God's behalf are in for a surprise. I grew up in a devoutly Catholic home and my father had even studied to be a priest. My beliefs are still rooted in Catholicism, which is pretty similar to most branches of Christianity. After years of struggling with my sexual orientation (and a pretty serious drinking problem as a result), I realized that my fear of condemnation had completely estranged me from God. If I was convinced God hated me, how could I love him? But I eventually realized that I was inherently gay and all the hoping and praying would have no effect on that. My desire to be straight actually conflicted with God's plan for my life. Why was I born gay? I haven't a clue. But my family eventually accepted me. And I have a lesbian friend whose father (also a devout Catholic) told me he believed God gave him a gay daughter so that he (the father) would learn that God's creations know no limits. His daughter is a doctor, she's involved with charities, and she holds herself up to the same standards that would be expected of her if she were straight. Other than the fact that she's a lesbian, she's everything any father could want in a daughter. But instead of making a lifelong commitment to a man, she made one to a woman. Being gay doesn't mean you have to be promiscuous or swing from chandeliers. People who do that perpetuate a stereotype that doesn't apply to most gays. If you have religious beliefs that guide your behavior, you can still apply those to your life as a gay man. One of my friends (a guy) grew up in a strict Baptist household and fought against his nature for years because he was convinced he'd go to hell if he acted on his impulses. When he accepted that God had made him gay, he still saved himself until he found his life partner, since that was in keeping with his religious beliefs. Only God knows your soul and no one has the authority to speak for God. Gay people are no less capable of living good lives than straights are, so let your conscience be your guide. There are all sorts of things in the world that can't be explained, but our inability to understand them doesn't mean God didn't have his reasons.

You cannot help your sexuality and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay! You could talk to other gay people on the internet, or on here if you'd like. You feel that you hate yourself at the moment, think about why? Are you being mistreated by somebody because of your sexuality? Do you have internalized homophobia? You need to learn to accept yourself, there are a lot of people who feel the same way as you. You're never alone! You're important and you deserve to be happy. You could talk to a listener about this, I'm sure they could help :)

"Why am I gay?", those words have been through my mind at least 1,000 times. I think about it almost everyday, "why me?" "why did this happen to me?". I don't know why I think like this. I should accept myself. Why don't I accept myself? The truth is that I will accept myself, that I will work this out. I will get over this.

don't hate yourself for being gay, there is nothing wrong in loving someone. no matter what the orientation is, Love is love and Love is universal.

it's something weird. at some point, you become more like a listener to yourself. in some ways, I feel sad about my sexuality, i'm bi, but in despite about it, I feel proud, I feel good. most of my time I spend it in thinking about, "what if I tell everybody about my sexuality?", "how they will act when I tell them?". It's sad, sometimes I hate myself too, but what can we do about it? nothing. Now that i'm 16, I am realizing that since like I was 8, I become bi. I remember being attracted by boys, but at the same time by girls, I can have a girlfriend but at the same time I cant stop thinking about a boy. I try to being the most quiet as posible but sometimes I can't. it's so fucking difficult that sometimes I cry, and you know, it feels so good to cry, you feel more healed, but in your mind you know it's not over, you still be thinking about your problems, about what can happen if... or how will it happen if... it just sucks, but you don't choose to be like you are right now, you become, you spend your life trying to be okay, falling a couple of times, trying to be "normal", but, seriously, as much as you want to be normal, the more you become gay, or bi, or trans or whatever. Just be you. It's okay to be different. it's okay to be you. with love. Abraham xo

If you are gay, do not ever hate yourself. I know it may be hard because family and friends, but you will find people who love and accept you. I know as a gay female that it may be hard to love who you are, but you can't change it so you might as well enjoy this beautiful life you have, because one day you'll look back and wonder why you even cared what other people thought.

Why are other people hetero? love yourself! because you deserve to love yourself as much as everybody else.

I can tell you are really struggling with this. If you live some place where being gay is really unacceptable, I can see why you feel the way that you do right now. Here's my answer to your question: you are gay because that's the way you are. Here's a much more superficial situation: compared to most women, I have freakishly long limbs. It means that I can't wear most shoes, dresses and trousers that are for sale in the stores, because they aren't going to fit. But there's also things that are great about this, too. With longer fingers, it's easier to play the guitar and the piano. Because my shoe size is so uncommon, it's the sort of thing that will show up at 80% off, because, who else wears that? You can think of being gay being similar. The common way that things are done in society may sometimes not fit you. Being straight is usually the default. A lot of how society is set up is to fit the typical person. But just like I can't shorten my legs without maiming myself, you aren't going to be changing that you're gay without maiming the core of who you are. It sounds to me like you are on the path of self-discovery and self-acceptance. It may be harder path than some other people's - but sometimes the more difficult climbs lead to greater strength, and more beautiful vistas.

you shouldn't hate yourself because you're gay, love. i think you are beautiful. and hella brave. I don't really know why people feel the need to belittle themselves because they like a person of the same sex. that is something i dont think i'll ever understand. You shouldn't hate yourself because of that. Embrace it. I love you and i think you are amazing if you ask me.

Gay is not something that you chose. Gay is okay, it is not something you should be ashamed of or something that you have to hide. It is something that you should be proud of.