What is the best way to get over the pain caused by close family such as a mom who is "repulsed" at the fact that her son/daughter is gay, but sends her love despite this "shortcoming"?

I'm trans and pansexual. So my experience will be based on coming out as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community instead. I reframed my relationship with my family members. They provided love and support when they were able, but now that they are not able to love and support, there is no place in my life for them. To replace them I have fostered other relationships that offer more love and support than they ever could have. They can say they "love" me all they want but if they invalidate my existence and treat me as substandard then I don't have the space or energy for them in my life. It's on the family member to do the work necessary to get over their repulsion of my identity.