My sexuality keeps fluctuating and I'm not sure I fit into one single box, how do I explain that to others when I don't know how to feel about it myself?
25 Answers
Moderated by Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor
Updated: Nov 2, 2020
Anonymous
on
Feb 26, 2015
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Sexuality is a spectrum and not fitting into the socially constructed view of sexuality (black and white views such as there only being homosexuality and heterosexuality) is normal and understandable. Having a changing sexuality does not affect who you are as a person and is not necessary to explain to others.
The problem with explaining this to others is that they might jump to conclusions. To best avoid this, start with an analogy or anecdote that you find makes it most clear that sexuality is allowed to be fluid and that this does not make you a "whore" or an experiment.
geovanisouza92
on
Apr 6, 2015
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You don't have to explain. Don't pressure yourself to get an answer that you haven't figured it out yet. Everyone that loves you will understand the choose you'll take (man, woman or both).
Anonymous
on
Sep 21, 2015
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If you aren't prepared yourself, don't be afraid if you don't feel ready to tell other people. You can take your time.
Anonymous
on
Nov 2, 2015
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Since i was 13 I have been struggling with my sexuality. I have come to the conclusion that I am bisexual. I told someone close to me and someone who i trusted really helped me come to terms with my sexuality. You shouldn't feel alone and like nobody would understand because there was a lot of people who do! Your sexuality does not define you. If you are not sure about your sexuality you should try and experience different things until you really know what and who you want.
Anonymous
on
Dec 21, 2015
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You can tell them that sexuality is fluid! Nothing has to be completely defined, and if they can't see that, it's their problem to deal with.
NaomiDelle
on
Jul 5, 2016
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Simply : you are Gender-fluid. Gender-fluid is a gender identity which refers to a gender which varies over time. A gender fluid person may at any time identify as male, female, both, or any other non-binary identity, or some combination of identities.
This is the best way to explain to others : simple and short. Now about yourself, there is nothing wrong with not being sure what exact gender you have. It's something completely fine and if you are confused now, give yourself some time, you'll figure it out. I hope this helps
Ballard
on
Jul 19, 2016
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Slapping labels isn't for everyone and it doesn't make you any less valid as a person nor does it make your sexuality is wrong. Everyone has their own thing and if people aren't going to understand that, the problem is in their heads and not yours. (Check out sexual fluidity; it's a sexuality too!)
Larry1436
on
Nov 7, 2016
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With time comes understanding! You may not understand how to feel about it now, but eventually you will find your way. Explaining your situation to others is something you have to do in your own terms and on your own time. You may not immediately be ready to explain it and that's okay. You owe it to yourself to tell people or not tell people whenever you are ready.
Anonymous
on
Nov 21, 2017
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Don't worry about labels. You don't have to conform to any and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone! Just go with what feels right at the time while you discover yourself. We as humans change every day and you don't have to stick to a label if you don't feel like you belong To it.
Anonymous
on
Jul 30, 2018
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Labels don't always convey the way we feel. Your sexuality fluctuating is completely normal. While you don't owe anyone an explanation of yourself and how you feel, having an open and honest discussion may help you explain how you feel to others.
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