I'm 42 yr old, a mom of 5. I have always ? my sexual orientation. In HS, i was a hoe, but didn't like it. I was mostly friends with guys, i was attracted to my female friends. Now I'm dreaming of

Hmm. Your questions seems to have gotten cut off, I'm sorry to say. I'm going to guess that you were going to say you're fantasizing about being with women? I'm unclear as to your current situation in regards to relationship status - if you're married or have a boyfriend, I'd be curious as to how you view that relationship in light of these questions. I'm married, but suspect that if I hadn't started dating my spouse, I may have ended up experimenting with my preferences. However, for me, it's more of a hypothetical thing to think about as I'm quite happy in my marriage and am not interested in being unfaithful and neither of us want an open relationship. For you, I think the first step is talking to your significant other (if you have one). Perhaps there are things you can do together to expand your relationship and bring greater satisfaction to your desires. If you are entirely uninterested in your SO, then that will necessitate a much more difficult conversation. I'd also be curious as so how your children view the LGBTQ+ community. If that's not something you know, maybe have some general conversations to see where they lie on the subject. It could give you a decent idea of how to approach any potential conversations in the future with them,