If my partner is out of the closet and I'm not out yet, will this cause a lot of issues in our relationship?
HealingArrow
on
Jul 7, 2015
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I was a lesbian for 6 years, My partner was more comfortable with her sexuality then I was and I was afraid of what my family and friends thought of me, over time I would distance myself from her unless we were alone or at home, and it began to make her feel as I was ashamed of her, and I was not ashamed I loved her more then anything, but I could feel her love slipping over time, and eventually I decided to come out and everyone was supported though there were a few that were not! I could finally hug her and be with her anywhere i wanted because we wanted! we were just like everyone else! and now I wouldnt change it for the world! But yes it did cause a lot of issues! I hope that helped and thank you for choosing 7cups of tea!
Anonymous
on
Jan 12, 2015
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Talk it out. Loving partners should be supportive. Whether you are ready or not, they should be supportive. Sometimes, even with straight couples, one partner doesn't want the world to know about the relationship before the other one does. Make sure your partner knows it is not because of embarrassment. Explain why you want more time.
Anonymous
on
Dec 29, 2015
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Yes, your partner would feel too uncomfortable and annoyed that you won't allow any affection toward him/her/them just because you aren't out of the closet yet. Your partner might eventually give up on you and seek someone else who would accept their own self for who she/he is or they are.
Goosette007
on
May 24, 2016
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This has happened to me, if your partner loves you then they shouldn't care if you're closeted or not, If things are becoming strained then maybe draw up a plan with your partner about coming out. If you wanted to talk more i'm open ears :)
SnoOnTheBluff
on
Oct 24, 2016
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This only causes an issue in your relationship if you are insecure about your relationship, my GF is out to a select few people and they all know about me and they all love me. However before she told them about me I never once pressured her into coming out because I knew that was her process and I love watching her grow.
Emma16
on
May 17, 2016
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It can be difficult, yes. But I would say that as long as you are open with your partner about being closeted and they understand and respect that beforehand, it should be okay. I think communication is definitely key here. Also remember though that just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that you have to come out. If your partner is pressuring you to do so, understand that maybe this relationship isn't working at this moment.
BriDreaming
on
May 23, 2016
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Short answer: it can. Long answer: it entirely depends on your relationship and your individual situation. Everyone will be in a different situation, despite any similarities. The big thing is to remember that it will only cause issues if you allow it to.
starryRiver83
on
Feb 20, 2015
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Potentially yes. You should never feel too pressured to come out now that you are in a relationship, but if you put yourself in your partner's shoes, at some point they are going to want to be open about their relationship with you and if you are not ready to come out yet, it may put pressure on the relationship. You should try to decide what you want to do, talk with your partner about this fully. Neither of you should feel pressure on the relationship, if you enjoy being together and are happy together, don't be afraid to show it at some point. I hope this helps.
Brittneym101
on
May 21, 2015
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If your partner is out of the closet and you're not out yet, it will only cause a lot of issues in your relationship only if you choose to let it. It takes more time for some people to come out and you can't force someone to come out in any way, shape form or fashion. They have to be ready to do that on their own. Surely your partner understands how this feels so they shouldn't rush you. Before the relationship gets to serious I recommend that you sit down and have a conversation with your partner so that you may prevent any problems from occurring in the future.
CourageousPal26
on
Jan 20, 2015
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Communication is key to relationships. Just speak to your partner about the issue (what both of you want, problems that may occur, etc) and decide how both of you are going to move forward in this. It's not a 50/50 problem since your partner's family/friends may be more understanding than your's or you may be more worried about coming out than your partner is. It will be an issue if you make it an issue though.
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