How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?
playersin13
on
Oct 4, 2015
LGBTQ+ Issues Expert
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Im confused as im straight but started getting feeling for guys and started to like my friend even though I like girls
Erynn
on
Nov 16, 2014
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What a big question! First off, you are not alone in questioning your sexual orientation. Know that many, many, many people are also and have also asked themselves those very same questions.
Second, know that no one but yourself can find the answer! It's YOUR identity, and no parent, friend, mentor, or stranger can figure it out for you. This can be both terrifying and liberating.
Third, there isn't a "wrong" answer. Even if you later identify differently, whatever you identify with right now is still valid. It just becomes valid in the past tense. So, don't worry too much about being "right" and finding the "right" answer. Sexuality is often very fluid.
Fourth, it may help to read. Find out what each definition means. Listen to the stories of people who identify these ways. What does it mean to them to be gay, lesbian or bisexual?
Fifth, give yourself time. It's okay if it takes weeks, months, years to figure out. Just go with it. It took me until my second year of college to figure out my sexuality. You don't need to tell anyone until you are ready, and you don't need to label yourself unless it's what YOU want and it helps YOU.
Finally, it may help to journal to sort out your feelings. You might also seek out the LGBTQ community in some manner - online or in real life - to find support and information as you explore your feelings.
Best wishes friend. It'll all turn out okay in the end. :) Just breathe and give yourself the time and space to explore your feelings and thoughts.
Scrivener
on
Nov 15, 2014
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Sexual orientation is just that - it's based on who you are sexually attracted to. It's one piece of a big picture, and it's rarely black and white. If you are primarily sexually attracted to your own gender, you call yourself gay. If you are primarily attracted to the opposite gender, you call yourself straight. If it's something in between, you might call yourself bisexual - but the truth is rarely that simple. Most straight people will have some interest in the same sex, even if they never act on it. It's the same for most gay people. Sexuality is complicated, and labels don't give the full answer.
Gardeviola
on
Nov 7, 2014
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Well, which genders do you feel attraction for? Personally, I feel like everyone has felt same sex attraction at least once. Don't confine yourself to a label. I identify as Pansexual (Liking people regardless of any gender identity), and there is more than just straight, lesbian, gay, or bi. Sexuality is fluid. Hope this helps.
Anonymous
on
Nov 17, 2014
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its is all about who you are sexually attracted too. one thing to keep in mind is that there are different sexualites besides those ones so don't limit yourself when discovering yourself. also there is big difference between sexual and romantic attraction. i hope that helped!
Anonymous
on
Nov 17, 2014
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If you feel like you are attracted to someone of the same sex emotionally. It is normal to feel physically attracted to someone of the same sex, but if you could see yourself having a life with that person then you could be either gay, bisexual, or lesbian.
DeadlyAlone
on
Nov 19, 2014
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You will probably understand it through your relationships. If you get attracted by the same sex then you are homosexual if you get attracted by both sexes then you are bisexual.
LaurenSays
on
Nov 5, 2014
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Sexuality is a personal experience, and no one can define it but you. Do your research and do what feels right. Sexuality is fluid, and it exists more on a scale than in black and white. That being said, it is entirely possible to be gay and feel very minimal attraction to the opposite sex, or to be straight and have some gay thoughts. When it comes down to it, it's all what feels right for you.
ChaiChelsea
on
Nov 8, 2014
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Figuring out your sexuality can be a very complex and personal thing. You can try looking at the Kinsey test online, and reflect on the questions as they pertain to you & your rating on the scale. You could also think back and ask yourself questions such as, who do you fantasize about the most? Who do you see yourself in both short and long term relationships with? Who do you have crushes on? How do you feel around people the same gender as you, and how do you feel around people of a different gender than you? Reflecting on these questions - perhaps even writing about them in a private journal - could help find you some peace and answers.
MaiaPapaya
on
Nov 6, 2014
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Understanding your sexual orientation can take a lot of thought, and many teens (and even adults) are unsure of their orientation. So don't worry! Sexual orientation refers to someone's preferences in general, so a single experience doesn't define who you are, and you are more than who you find attractive. Sometimes putting a label on it can help, but other times it's just more confusing. Fantasies, conscious attractions, emotional and romantic feelings, and sexual behaviors are all indicators about your sexual preferences, and therefore your orientation.
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