How can you tell if you are a boy or a girl, or something else entirely?
211 Answers
Moderated by Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor
Updated: May 3, 2022
Anonymous
on
Aug 7, 2015
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Sex is something that is assigned to you at birth based upon your organs. However, gender is a completely different social construct! You can be a girl or a boy or whatever you feel! Sometimes I feel like a girl, a boy, or just my own thing. Gender has such fluidity and it's amazing. Whatever you choose make sure that you are comfortable with you. You do you :)
Anonymous
on
Oct 3, 2016
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For most people, it takes a lot of time to eventually understand yourself. Some people can know they were born in the wrong body from a young age, whereas others don't come to terms with it until their teens or even adult life. I think you have to go with your gut instinct and what feels natural for you.
Robin13
on
Mar 27, 2017
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Gender Identity is not equal to gender expression, but it may be related. A woman who dresses more androgynously is still a woman, while a feminine trans man is still male. Do you ever get gender dysphoria, or insecurities about your body that are solely related to the sex you were born with? Keep in mind, if it's about hating gender roles, thats different.
Anonymous
on
Jul 24, 2018
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It all depends on what you feel inside. Don't listen to the labels other people put on you, focus on yourself.
Anonymous
on
Sep 18, 2018
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Well, that's one pretty hard question there. Some people just know, others, myself included, just don't. It's difficult when you don't, but sometimes that's how it is, but I will assure you of one thing, You will find out. It will be confusing and chances are you'll hate every second of it, but take it from me when you arrive at an answer, it feels like you're on top of the world. That sounded a bit bad. Questioning yourself isn't all negative. The people you meet and talk to in the community are a massive help, stay with you for years and years.
Aayla
on
Oct 7, 2019
LGBTQ+ Issues Expert
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You can try thinking of yourself in terms of one or another and see how that makes you feel. You may try with different pronouns, experiment with different outer gender expression (like looks)... And also, you can try to learn more about non-binary identities and maybe talk to the non-binary community to understand better. You can also do the same with the trans community. With time, you'll find who you truly are!
sunshineninja17
on
Jan 21, 2020
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It depends on how you choose to express yourself. I am biologically female, but I went through a period where I considered myself agender, and also a period where I wanted to be referred to as a boy. Now, I use mostly female pronouns, but don't really care what pronouns people use. Some people know what gender they are just by how they wish to express themselves. Other people aren't quite so sure. It's okay to just be yourself, and not worry if you are male, female, or anything else. Identify the way you want to, dress the way you want to. It may be consistent or it may not be. All that matters is that you are being your best self, and making yourself as happy with who you are as you can.
MidwesternCalmSeeker
on
Nov 22, 2020
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The concept of gender is a complex one. There are many umbrella terms to describe gender – transgender, non-binary, gender expansive, and the list goes on. The concept of gender can actually be fluid, and your feelings about it can change over time. And that’s okay.
A study showed that about 20% of young children who feel that their gender might be different than they are initially told will continue to feel this way into adulthood. If you are someone who has felt unsure for a long time, you are not alone. The reasons can be one or they can be many. First, there’s biology. Females usually have two of the same kind of sex chromosome (XX) while males have two different kinds of sex chromosomes (XY). But in a handful per thousand of births, the chromosome count is actually different. Situations and experiences in your life can cause you to feel less comfortable about identifying as a boy or a girl. Hormones kick in during puberty, and this causes a whole new world of sensations. You can suddenly find yourself attracted to people who you never thought about that way before. It’s no wonder there’s a lot to consider when it comes to sorting out your feelings about how you wish to identify.
Self-discovery and self-reflection are good starts to figuring out how you feel. Answer these questions honestly: What kinds of people are you physically attracted to? When you were a young child, did you feel the same or different than you do today? If the world had only kind and non-judgmental people in it, how would you choose to live your life? Thinking about these things may provide some insight. Joining the LGBT+/MOGII Support Forum or Group Support Chat on 7 Cups may also be helpful so that you can connect with others who are working through similar questions.
tranquilCentaur
on
Dec 7, 2014
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There are a lot of different classifications under the spectrum of gender. It all depends on what feels more comfortable. For example, if some one called you a boy, how would you feel and vice versa.
RebeccaH
on
Dec 21, 2014
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There are so many nuances to gender outside of the strict girl/boy binary. A great resource for helping someone evaluate their gender is the Genderbread Person.
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/03/the-genderbread-person-v2-0/
This is a really fantastic graphic that breaks gender down into 4 categories, each with two separate spectrums. It is incredibly inclusive, no matter where you fall on the gender spectrum
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