How can I get my parents and or family to use the right pronoun and name?

There's nothing you can do to "make" them use the correct pronoun and name, but there are ways to discourage the ones you don't want. If you get upset when they use the wrong ones, they may believe that's a sign that you're guilty about the change, or you're trying to force a change that's not real. If you can, try to be calm about it. Treat it like you would a small child who mispronounced your name, or thought you were the other gender because you wore something like their cousin of that gender wore. "I'm sorry you forgot - my name is [this] now" or "I'm [she/he] now." If they say, "you'll always be [oldname] to me," you may need to be calm and reply with something like, "I'm sorry you can't recognize who I am now." And it's rough being stuck doing that, over and over, with many people. The more you can be calm and polite about it, the more will be accepting. It's hard to pretend something is just an accidental slip instead of the likely-deliberate erasure of your identity, but it will persuade more people that this is who you really are - and it will help you be more calm about it, so that you can define your identity by who you are now, rather than who or what you used to believe you were.

I would not respond to anything other than my name and pronoun. If someone was calling me Mike (my name is Bee) I would not answer them. It's about respect

This can be really challenging sometimes especially if they don't have the best understanding of your situation. If they do, horray! That makes your life a lot easier. You can possibly sit them down and have an open & honest conversation about what you need from them. Tell them what pronouns/name is the ones you need, so that way they can do that for you. If they are having a problem understanding, that can be a little trickier. I would suggest sharing some resources with them and then talking with them about it. (Here is a great resource to start you off: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/trans-gender-identity# ) Then you can chat with them and answer their questions they might have about who YOU are as a person. Be well.

This is a really tricky situation to be in. Parents and family are especially difficult to get on board with the name and pronoun changes. Some parents are stubborn and refuse to change, but you can always correct them and stand up for yourself. If your parents are supportive of you but just use the wrong name and pronouns all the time out of habit, what they really need is time. Your parents have been used to calling you a certain name and using certain pronouns for years before you decided to finally live authentically. Try not to be mad or angry with your parents, although it's extremely frustrating, they are trying and just need time. Gentle reminders and corrections can help the process.

Never let a mistake go. Not in the sense of berating them about the mistake, but making sure they know to never call you by the wrong pronoun again. If you go by he/him and someone refers to you as she/her, then politely correct them. If they are willingly misgendering you and dead naming you, you need to sit them down to a serious conversation about respect and boundaries. I know how hard it is to even think about broaching that subject, but it's important to do so. If someone truly loves you, then they will try their hardest to make you feel supported and loved. Not only that, but it's important to you. You deserve to be respected and called the correct pronoun and name, and I really hope you get your loved ones to understand that. I wish you the best of luck!

Explain to them that using your pronouns and name is a basic way of showing you respect. You don't call your mom George and use he/him pronouns for her just because you think that's what fits her - you use she/her and her name because that's part of her identity.

Maybe if you stopped calling it "the right" pronoun and name and called it something like "the one I use" or "the one I want." When you call it "the right" one, what you are saying to them is that they are Wrong, and of course their mind is going to go in the direction of, "But I'm not wrong! That's what I've always used! That IS the right one! Kids nowadays!" If, on the other hand, you emphasize that you want them to use this name and pronoun because you care very deeply about it, you're saying that you understand their cognitive dissonance and you are asking them to accommodate your needs. It may make you a little more vulnerable than an uncompromising declaration of the absolute rightness of your position, but that can win people's sympathy.

Getting family to use the right pronouns and name at first are really hard. It took my family nearly 2 years to come round to the idea of calling me something different. Time and patients are key. Remember how hard it was for you to figure your self out and come to terms with it? Well they feel this but in a different way. They still love you

Just keep drilling it on them. Don't let them get away with it. Eventually they'll catch on. Your parents may mistake you for a sibling or other relative, but just let them know that you're your own individual person.

It can be hard for parents and family members to understand using the right pronouns and name. It is important to remember that it can be an adjustment for them and things will take time. If they refuse to use the correct name and pronouns it may help of you just don't answer when they don't do what you have asked.