How to actually deal with emotions after death of a friend?

Grieve in the way that works for you. There are many myths out there about how a person should grieve. The reality is you need to grieve in the way that suits you. This may include crying, shouting, getting lost in your work, or sitting silently. Don’t hold yourself up to any comparisons about what grief should look like—just feel your feelings, however they come. Let others help you. You might want to withdraw from others because you don’t think they can understand. However, it's best to reach out to others rather than keeping to yourself. Talk to friends and family about how you are feeling and ask for their support as well. They may be affected by your friend’s death, too, or they may just want to comfort you. Talk to a grief counselor. If you can’t seem to resume your place in the world after your friend’s death, you may need professional help. Some people experience complicated grief. You may blame yourself for the death, stop going to school or work, neglect your appearance, and even have thoughts of suicide.