When I forgive someone, should I strive to "forgive and forget' and not hold on to pass mistakes or should I "forgive but never forget" and keep my guard up?

I personally dislike the statement "forgive and forget". Because it's really impossible to completely forget what had happened to you. Whatever the mistake was, a person is more likely to be more aware and careful around other people, especially the person who caused the distrust. I think learning from mistakes is the best idea and keep your guard up slightly, but not to the point where you can't trust anyone. :)

That's a hard one. You do need to forgive and forget and don't hold a grudge. However, be on guard for people who may purposely offend you. Choose your friends and companions wisely .

Forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things. Forgiveness must be done for you alone, whether or not the offender is even sorry. Forgiveness sets yourself free and releases you from the burden of bitterness, anger or contempt. Reconciliation, however, does not automatically take place with forgiveness. For reconciliation to occur, the offender must be genuinely sorry, and then prove themselves with their actions, earning your trust back over a period of time. For the offenders who are not sorry, or who do not earn your trust back, you may need to distance yourself from that relationship. But still, always forgive them for your own sake.

That is up to you to decide. It depends on your relationship with that person, what their trespass was, & what your feelings are regarding that person & their actions. True & honest forgiveness is the more important step here; only then can you move on, heal & repair your relationship (if you so desire). Whether or not you decide to "forget" their actions is more a matter of your own thoughts & feelings about the issue at hand.

When in need for forgivness, it means that you're deeply hurt and unfortunetly speaking of personal experience no matter how hard you tried you cannot forget. The pain will fade eventually i'll guarantee that, but try turning the pain into power and just learn from it!

In my experience, it totally depends on the situation. Forgiveness is for me, not necessarily to mend a relationship with the person I am forgiving. So, if I have forgiven someone for a small transgression, it might be appropriate to forgive and forget - or at least show a little grace. I try to put myself in the other persons shoes and typically that leads me to more kindness and compassion along with forgiveness. Now, It can also be appropriate to keep my guard up in scenarios that present danger. So, if I find myself in a dangerous situation and it involves another person - I'll forgive them and keep my guard up for my own safety and protection against future serious harm. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing - it brings us peace. I think we can all practice it with grace and kindness, while keeping our guard up - or stated another way - being aware of potential danger- when and if necessary. I usually ask myself two questions: How would I want to be forgiven, and Is this something that I am ok with happening again?

It's important to learn from experience. Not forgetting will help you to learn, but may also keep you fixated on what once was. Forgiveness and acceptance are key to moving on from a situation.

Well, just to establish this in the very beginning of my answer, forgiveness is something that has to be earned for it to have any meaning. A person who chooses to give away forgiveness without any standards is just as wrong as the person who demands unearned forgiveness from someone. The saying "forgive but don't forget" is merely the acceptance of the fact that words alone shouldn't be enough to grant someone forgiveness, and that someone's words have to be backed up by consistent actions in accordance with one's promise to make changes for the better as far as one's character is concerned.

I think forgive but never forget is a better option . It appears sensible choice in all ways. And I think it does not affect the future in any negative way.

You should forgive someone completely but I would recommend being aware of what the person is capable of!