Why am I not good enough for my parents?

A parent's 'job' is to nurture, encourage, and support a child's growth in a positive direction. Often parents might express 'standards' in order for the child to reach higher level of achievement, to improve them/ prepare them for independence, or to give their child what they see as a sense of personal satisfaction or personal accomplishment. But these 'standards' can often be a source of negative pressure, to cause anxiety, feelings of incompetency, deficiency, and disappointment in oneself. It's important to know, that you are striving to be your best self. You might feel like, or your parents might make you feel like you aren't enough, but you have your own set of goals. You are you, not your parents, and you are on a winding journey to become the best version of you, whether you are fortunate to have your parents help you on that journey, or you are finding trusting friends along the way :)

It depends on how they view you or treat you as their child. Sometimes because of the experiences they had it influences how they grow their children. Whether it may be negative or positive. They sometimes have a hard accepting who you are or seeing who you've become therefore you may not get that recognition you deserve. It can be challenging dealing with situations especially without support and when you need it the most. I am here to tell you that whenever you think you are not good enough help them see the person you are cause they may not be using the right view. Just know that you are good enough and you are who you are, accept yourself.

For my immigrant parents, the goal was for me me to be the most successful I could be. But sometimes parents pin a lot of their own hopes and dreams on you and you can't be expected to fulfill every single one. Parents are humans too and at times they fail to realize that you are your own person. I think what is takes is realizing that you are good enough regardless of other people's perception of you. Everyone has intrinsic value regardless of their success. It can be hard to swallow since we're brought up thinking that the more successful you are, the better of a person you are. But your value as a human being will always remain.

I know what that's like. Feeling like you constantly have to push harder, do more, be better. YOU are the only one who gets to determine what's "good enough". If you know you are doing your best, you are more than good enough. Sometimes parents can be pressuring and insensitive without realizing. Have a sit down talk with mom and/or dad about how you feel and what you want to do to move forward. If you want to have a better relationship with them, find a time to talk and let them know how you feel. Start with "Sometime I feel like...when you..." Sometime's it all just one HUGE misunderstanding, you all are capable of getting through this stronger but ONLY if you communicate. Feel free to find me and we can chat if you need some support on how/when to talk to them or if there is a specific issue you'd like to address. Good luck!

This is something I’ve personally dealt with a lot. You just have to remember that there is nothing wrong with you, and it’s not that you aren’t “good enough” because if you’re trying then yes you are good enough. It can be tough when you’re parents don’t show approval because we all look up to our parents and want them to be proud of us. But sometimes you have to realize that you may never have your parents approval, but the problem isn’t you, and that as long as you’re trying your best and you’re happy with yourself then everything will be ok.

When parents express dissatisfaction with their children it usually stems from their own dissatisfaction with themselves. Their parents or parental figures made them feel like they weren’t good enough so they do the same thing to you. This may or may not be the case with you but in my experience, parents and people alike often project how they feel about themselves onto those around them. Just know that their treatment of you has nothing to do with your innate value or worth. It’s them that has insecurities about themselves and, as cliché as it sounds, misery loves company. But you can choose to believe what they try to tell you about yourself or you can remember that you were born more than enough even if they are too wrapped up in their own mistakes to see it. I hope this helps.

This is probably your perception and not theirs. You are responsible to yourself for personal development and doing that is an expression of joy. Find things to do that are worthwhile and see your inner worth increase. Talk to friends and people you respect about things to pursue. Ask God to help you with this. Often your inner voice is helpful. but you will have to listen for it. You and your community will benefit as you develop into the person you want to be. The world needs people to develop their skills and hopefully to help others.

Sometimes, people (especially parents and family) can have unrealistic expectations. This is not your fault and it can make you feel like you are not good enough for your parents. It's important that you know that you are enough and you are amazing :) Sometimes, it can help to make a list of the things that you feel you are good at (if you don't know, you can ask a friend) and do those things often. That way, you can remind yourself that no matter what other people say, you are enough.

It's important to know that some people will have unrealistic and harmful expectations for you. It's very painful but It doesn't make you "not good enough." They will have their own complex feelings and reasons as to why they have the expectations they have, but that's not your fault or your responsibility. Family relationships are very difficult and complex, so don't blame yourself for what you're going through. Your responsibility is to be someone that YOU are proud of, that is good enough for you. You, as a person, are valuable in and of yourself. You are already enough. You have always been enough. It's okay to just be you.

A lot of times in life, parents want the best for their children and continually try to push them to do better things and improve upon themselves. However, sometimes they get a bit too overzealous with these emotions and get to a point where they can't appreciate the things that you do. Remind yourself that you are good enough and that you don't need another person's approval to prove that. As long as you do what you want to do in life that brings you meaning and fulfillment, that's amazing. Being humble and wanting to improve yourself is great, just remember to appreciate yourself for the things you do.