Whenever I go home, my parents treat me like a teenager again - how can I stop this from happening?

Returning home, after you’ve gone off to school, or already moved out is hard. I feel that even now when I visit my mom on the weekends. It’s been over 30 years since we’ve lived in the same house. I have my own grown family now, so you’d think it would get easier. But it’s hard to get out of the patterns that were set up back then. I try to help out more when I visit. Whether it’s setting the table, or taking the recycling back. It’s not that I’m trying to prove anything, but it’s just helping them out and getting out of the patterns that were set up back in high school, when we never picked up our socks or cleaned our room, lol. Parents love to help out too. And it’s hard for them not to add in their opinion every time a problem presents itself. Phrases like “Thank you, that sounds like it might work” or “I think I’ve got it figured out, but I’ll keep that in mind” Anything, that lets them feel heard, and a small part of things, can go a long way.

try to let them know how you feel. maybe next time they treat you as a teenager you let them know how you would react if you were actually a teenager and how it differs from your reaction as an adult. sometimes, parents treat their child as teenager but then when they need help they want us to act like adults. next time when they do it let them know how their behavior contrasts with each other and that they should treat you as an adult most of the time if they want you to act like one.also, let them know what upset you without feeling offended. this can be done during a family get-together when both of you are relaxed. also, try to reflect upon yourself whether you are being responsible enough as an adult. often, a sense of security is what parents might need in order to realize that you have grown up.

This is not uncommon to have happen. It's important to understand their perspective. They raised you from a child and in some ways you will always be that child to them. However, It is important to have open communication with them and establish healthy boundaries with the people around you. This is one way that may help you grow as a person and also grow the relationship between you and your parents. They are human and are flawed just like the rest of us. I encourage you to try to be understanding and forgiving. Change wont happen over night, but it can happen if you work at it.

Sometimes a lot of us feel this way after we've grown, moved out of the house, and come back to visit. Parents will always see their children as just that- their children, no matter how old they are, because that is the relationship, just as a sibling is a sibling. It can be a struggle not feeling seen or respected as an evolved human being when around family who may not respect or fully acknowledge who you are now versus who you used to be in the past. We cannot control how other people behave, only how we react. And sometimes how we react can also influence how people behave, at that time or over time.

I will tell them that I am an adult and I know what is right for me and what is not..I will tell them not to take too much stress..If there is something that I could listen to them or seek their advice then I will surely pay an attentive ear to them.. As parents they fear about my well-being and there are lot my insecurities and inhibitions.I will understand their point of view too at times..Only parents love me unconditionally without expecting anything.I want to preserve the memories for a lifetime as they are so precious to me.i love my parents.

Set boundairies, talk to them about thi without yelling or judging (and showing you compassionate and understanding about their reason and view, always think and tell them you know they do it thinking it's the best for you). Elaborate them a list of logical reasons why you can think and be treaten like and independent and responsible adult; and the goals you make them until know that prove it. Explain to them what specific changes you wanna them to do and the responsability associate with them (that you already have or are willing to have). Be more distant and on your own when you are with them, take the initiative and sometimes even the parental role (practice reversal psychology, do to them what they do to you). Try to not depend on them, let them reach you and not answer or be there for them so easily (like said no always the first two-three times they ask you a new thing and justify with things you have to do, incluiding taking care of yourself). And if all of that didn't work, think about the option of zero contact, break for ever the bonds, it sounds really hard and extreme but if the situation put you in a lot of pain... you will have to priorize and decide what's more important to you

I'm not forcing you to do anything, so even though it might sound like that, I don't mean it. My idea is that you could seriously talk to them and tell them how much this bothers you and that you aren't a teenager anymore, so you don't want to be treated like one. If you think that this seems a bit embarrassing or if this feels a bit awkward, you can also leave a note saying this or text them when you aren't home. You can also give signals that you don't want to be treated like you are treated right now.

I can understand that it's not a good feeling when your parents don't see the level of maturity you have gained and still treat you like a teenager when you have clearly grown from the experience. I can't say that I know what would stop this from happening because my parents too, treat me like a teenager who doesn't really know everything. And the thing I have learned is, they won't stop until I give them a very strong example that I'm no longer a teenager. Our parents are just scared because they have seen the world far more than us (I know it sucks to hear it, but it's true). They think we are not ready because teenage years is often the time around which we seek independence from our parents, we create our own world that doesn't revolve around them. It's new for our parents. You may not be able to completely stop your parents from treating you a certain way but you can speak about it with them - tell them that you appreciate how they look after you but you need space for yourself so that you can grow. Really express how you want to try something all on your own and it may not work out, but you want to explore and see if it might. Don't be harsh on your parents regarding this, just share how you feel and appreciate what they have done for you. Then keep having small victories where you're doing things on your own and growing. I'm sure that they will come around to seeing how much you have grown :)

Try to flip the situation upside down. Instead of allowing the way THEY treat you to affect you, stand in your "solid ground", your knowledge of who you are - in this case specifically a mature, adult person. It seems to be that when we stop focusing on how the others might see or treat us we start to exude the very trait that we wanted validated in the first place. My answer in short is, when it stops to matter how your parents treat you, you will be victorious. Because either this will help them see you as a grown person, or it will just stop bothering you.

Depending on what age you really are, your parents might address you as a teenager because you have just recently become an adult and are not yet aware of the world around you. Showing them that you are responsible and taking independent decisions can make them treat you more like an adult. If some recent incident triggered it then maybe try having a talk about it and address their concerns and give heed to their advices. Showing and proving to them that you have grown to be a adult is more important that constantly telling them that you are.