Whenever I go home, my parents treat me like a teenager again - how can I stop this from happening?
TraceListens
on
Jul 2, 2020
...read more
I am 53 years old and my parents still treat me like a teenager when I go home. I went out with some friends one night and my mum couldn't sleep until I got home. My dad has the ability to transport me back to my teenage years with one sharp word. This is despite the fact that I moved away from home when I was 18 and now live in another country.
Becoming a parent myself made me realise that our children are always our children in OUR eyes. It's a hard thing for parents to recognise. I am also wondering if perhaps you default to a teenager while you are home? Sometimes, we can easily drop back into dynamics that feel safe and comfortable to us (and that simultaneously irritate that crap out of us).
Here's another perspective - perhaps they are not treating you like a teenager but are trying to care for you. Maybe they are offering advice, but you are acting like a typical teenager and not wanting to hear it?
Let your parents know how you feel, calmly. However, it might just be one of those things you need to accept and tolerate, unfortunately.
Leopoldo
on
Jul 24, 2020
...read more
That is something that a lot of people seem to experience. Your parents have watched you growing up in a continuum and may struggle viewing you as an adult in a clear-cut way. This is especially the case for very protective parents.
I suggest talking to them, as delicately as you think the situation requires, and bringing up the occasions or topics that trigger that behavior from them. Don't be afraid to firmly express that this is making you uncomfortable.
Some parents might also need "proof" of your autonomy, so remind them of some examples that show you are and have been capable of living as an adult.
Angelin2876
on
Jul 29, 2020
...read more
You want your parents to treat you like an adult. I understand! My parents also treat me like a teenager when I'm home. What helped for me was reassuring them I did not need their guidance for every little task and doing more things around the house. I showed responsibility and ultimately my parents stopped treating me like I was a teenager. I did not want to be coddled up like I used to be, but I understand it was all coming from a place of love. It can be frustrating when they always treat you like a teenager, but for me, demonstrating that I could take on responsibility has helped.
Anonymous
on
Aug 19, 2020
...read more
As a person who have been experiencing this for a long time, i think the key is showing them that you are an independent human being. Even when i was a kid my parents were very cautious while raising me and that prevented me to become an adult that does not depend on their family. You exist on your own and when you reach a certain age you need to start making things done not with the help of your family but by yourself. If you become a person who can take responsibility and action without being dependent on anyone else, then the way your parents perceive you will change.
Anonymous
on
Aug 23, 2020
...read more
If you are now an adult, perhaps you can tell them that you've grown up and want to be more independent, make your own decisions and be responsible etc. Though you should be able to show that you can be responsible and independent to be able to let them trust you and see you as an adult and not a teenager. After all, parents just want the best for their kids though they might sometimes be overbearing. I think that talking it out with them would really help. :) That said, change also requires time and patience so it might not stop immediately but gradually. Hope it helps you. :)
Dreamdaisy85
on
Sep 5, 2020
...read more
It seems to me that you dont like being treated like a teenager. Have you ever addressed it to them personally and told them hoe it makes you feel? That may be what they need if for you to Express how you feel. It may be scary to tell them how you feel, but they only know what you tell them. To them you will always be their baby, but as you get older you dont want to he treated as a kid and I think I understand what your saying. You get frustrated when your parents treat you this way because that is now how you see yourself? Is that true please correct me if I'm wrong.
Magicalmoongirl
on
Sep 7, 2020
...read more
Try pointing out your accomplishments and your signs of independence in your life to them to remind them of your true age. Let them know you want to be regarded as an adult and don't want constrictions placed on you like you are a teenager because you are well capable of being treated like an adult. They may just be wanting to hold onto the feeling of parenting you and may take the opportunity of seeing you as a way to relive it again. Let them know that you appreciate them but you don't need as much guidance and parenting as you did before and only really need guidance or opinions on things when you straight up ask them for it.
caringairbear
on
Sep 9, 2020
...read more
This is a valid question. It can be challenging for parents to admit when their child has grown up. They may not realize they are doing it. What actions are they doing that make you feel like a teenager again? Have you tried talking to them about it? Speak up (in a respectful way!) and set boundaries. Let your actions prove what you say and allow them to see how much of an adult you've become. If their behavior continues and it impacts your relationship, you may find talking to a marriage and family counselor to beneficial. Wishing you the best of luck with your situation.
Anonymous
on
Sep 11, 2020
...read more
For one, I would try to write them a letter expressing how you feel. Generally speaking, a verbal discussion usually leads to an argument because of disagreements and it would be difficult to get your point across, so hopefully writing it in a letter and having them read through it could resolve that. Plus, it would allow you to get all your thoughts out. I get how frustrating this can be, but maybe they aren't used to seeing you grown and seeing how much you have matured. I would suggest giving them some time as well. Change doesn't always work overnight.
Yani05
on
Sep 16, 2020
...read more
I went through the same situation and I ended up having a soul to soul discussion and explained them that I am not a child anymore and that it bothers me how they treat me. No matter what, our parents will always see us as their babies and somehow they don't want to understand that we are growing and changing. So my advice would be to have an open discussion with them and explain what you don't like,while also trying to understand their point of view too. In the end, you will be able to find a solution. I hope this helps:)
My boyfriend or girlfriend is embarrassed of me. What should I do?
285 Answers
My dad likes to touch me. Is this sexual abuse?
279 Answers
When do i get to stop making everyone else happy?
262 Answers
I want to see a therapist. How do I tell my parents?
248 Answers
What age is too young to leave home?
234 Answers
What do I do if my father thinks I hate him even after I told him I don't?
233 Answers