When do i get to stop making everyone else happy?

When you stop being a people pleaser.. I used to try to make others happy and dodge their displeasure at the cost of my own happiness. With this mentality, I created a world in which I placed my well-being in the hands of others for them to crumple like a piece of paper. realize, now that my people pleasing tactics were really a veiled attempt to sway others’ judgement of and reciprocation to me. While compassion and generosity are generally positive attributes, I gave from a place of insecurity, low self esteem, and a sense of lack, unknowingly, in an attempt to bolster my feelings about myself. That’s giving to get which is taking in the end. Like an unspoken insurance policy, I thought that the more I contributed to others, surely, the more they would give back to me. Right? Wrong! I attracted people in my life who were more than happy to take and take and keep on taking, and I ended up depleted, resentful, and empty. This is a perfect example of life reflecting back to me a part of myself that I refused to acknowledge. I didn’t love or respect myself and allowed people to treat me the same. The flip side of people pleasing is resentment and hostility. Even if people did respond graciously to my efforts, I couldn’t allow myself to genuinely receive their kindness and, instead, stockpiled animosity. Because I didn’t like myself, I was numb to most consideration that did come my way. Compliments slid off of me. In order to keep up the pleasant, people-pleasing front, the bitterness I felt got buried until it erupted in angry outbursts or came out passive aggressively. I’m not a people pleaser anymore, and, in fact, I’d bet that some would say I’ve gone too far in the other direction and gotten too comfortable saying “No.” In every situation, there is always a caring way to respond considering what is being asked of me while factoring in my own needs, happiness, and wisdom from my head, heart, and gut. The response doesn’t have to be “yes” or “no,” and is usually something in between.

When you realize it's you putting that pressure on yourself. You may have these notions in your head that if you don't do this for this person than this terrible thing will happen, but just realizing that people are responsible for their own happiness might help you end your quest to provide that for everyone and start doing things for you. You have to remember you matter just as much as they do. You can't go through life living to please others.. You have got to take care of YOU first.

If someone expects you to make them happy and you buy into it, then both of you become trapped in a cycle of dependency. The truth is, you cannot own what is not yours. You cannot live someone’s life for them, and you cannot own their feelings for them. It is hard, but when people learn to take responsibility for how they feel, it can be hugely liberating. A better gift is to be ‘with’ the other person, hold space for them, and be compassionate. Trust that they can navigate their own life. A poet named Henley once wrote: “I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.” Two boats beating against the current is so much better than one endlessly towing the other! Trust.

The moment you realize that's not why we are here. People do not exist to make others happy. We exist to make ourselves happy. Sure, it's great to make your parents, siblings, and other family and friends proud. But ultimately, you need to do what's best for you. At the end of the day, you're the one that has to live with yourself. You and no one else.

That's a choice that only you can make. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first every once in awhile. It's ok to be selfish sometimes. It's a good thing that you are able to make others happy, but it can also be stressful. People take advantage of that a lot. Don't forget about you!!

Whenever you choose to do so...remembering that everyone is responsible for their own happiness. Things happen but it's our reaction to them that creates the feelings of happiness or unhappiness.

You get to stop making everyone else happy when you decide to. Live for yourself and your own happiness. If the people in your life aren't happy after that, you should reconsider why they are in your life in the first place.

When you decide to take time for yourself. Start being selfish if you need to your happiness is just as important as everyone else's.

When I ask myself and get an answer to, how can they be happy when I am not? Who makes me happy? Can I still make them happy even when there is no reciprocation?

When you realise that you are the one who you have to make happy. Putting yourself first, not anyone else is extremely important.