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What's the best way of dealing with your parents getting a divorce?

Profile: Apurvakumar
Apurvakumar on Dec 5, 2014
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Parents are very special to us and when they are separating, it’s a huge stress on their children. Parents brought us into this world, nurtured us, and love us. Definitely their separation may come as a shock. I am sharing few tips to deal with parents' divorce. Acknowledge your feelings and thoughts: It is important to identify and acknowledge your feelings related to your parents’ separation. You can write your feelings/emotions/ thoughts. It will help you feel light and think objectively. Find someone close to talk to: Talk about your feelings someone close may be your friend, or one of the parent. Share what you feel about it. You may seek counselor’s help if you need. Don’t worry about the future: Talk to your parents about your concerns. If you are worried that their divorce might ruin your future plans, let them know about it, and together you can come up with appropriate solution. Relax: Take time in the day to quietly relax and remove negative thoughts from your head. Go for a walk, cycling, do some exercise, write a journal or engage in any constructive activities. These activities will keep you away from negative feelings and thoughts. Be fair to both parents: Do not “take sides” and if your parents are persuading you to pick their side, tell them you do not want to. You need to be able to openly talk to or be with a parent without the other getting angry or jealous. Decide whom you want to spend more time with: You may need to choose between parents. This is very stressful situation. Both parents may want you to be with them and both of them claiming you. Recognize who can provide unconditional support, love, positive regards, and resources for your growth. Discuss your needs and expectations to each of your parents. Be calm, realistic and respectful to parents while interacting with them. Keep living your life: Sometimes a divorce can make you feel like you have to put your life on hold to deal with your parents’ problems – but you need to live your life. Do what you love to do and if you need support, lean on your friends, other family members, and trusted adults. If there is too much tension at home, see if you can stay with a close friend or relative until things get straightened out. Change your perspective: Do not feel guilty about parents’ separation. Understand that whatever is happening between your parents is your fault. Sometimes, despite the best intentions and efforts, two people just cannot make things work. It’s a circumstance that they come to a realization that it cannot work. There is nothing you could have done to change the situation and you can't change their minds either. Develop positive perspective: Focus on positive perspective on parents’ divorce. Parents separate because they are not happy with each other anymore. The divorce might mean that your parents are happier. Deal the tough circumstances with positive mindset and attitude. This will make you stronger and will help you later in life. Hope this helps you! Provide your feedback on this and share your personal experience.
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Profile: safesecrets79
safesecrets79 on Dec 5, 2014
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Always keep in mind that the divorce is not your fault. Sometimes adults grow apart, but it doesn't mean that they hate each other it just mean that they have changed into a different person, like a butterfly, and this brings on many changes that may not be fit for the other partner. However, the love remains the same. The partner that leaves the nest still love the kids and even still love the other parent. You guys are family and are linked for life, like a gift box wrapped tightly and no one can tear it apart!!!! :)
Profile: enaira12
enaira12 on Dec 5, 2014
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The first thing that I would do is to talk to my parents and try to understand their side of the stories.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jan 2, 2015
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Accept it - we are all humans and make mistakes. It can be as a child to accept this but be with whom you want to be instead of your parents' let decide whom they want. You have right whom to choose.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Dec 5, 2014
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Find the good in both of them. Refuse to get in the middle of their dispute or to let them use you as a pawn against each other. Stay neutral with both of them about the divorce and their reasons for it, if you want to avoid drama. It has nothing to do with you anyway, so why involve yourself? Think about your needs as well. If you are feeling down by your parents arguing in front of you, let them know. Respectfully.
Profile: kristinshere
kristinshere on Dec 6, 2014
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know its not your fault and make sure your able to see both of them and try putting yourself in their shoes. if you were married and unhappy would you want to stay with that person. They love you that all that matters
Profile: SleepyLion58
SleepyLion58 on Dec 20, 2014
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Understanding that their divorce has nothing to to with you or their love for you and that you can still love both of your parents. You don't have to choose a side.
Profile: RobynCares
RobynCares on Dec 22, 2014
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The best way of dealing with your parents getting a divorce is to find ways to cope with in inevitable stress, and reminding yourself that you are not to blame.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Dec 24, 2014
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to remind yourself that it is between them and that anything that happened was not your fault. It is really important to remember not to beat yourself up for something you do not have control of
Profile: AlwaysUpFromHere
AlwaysUpFromHere on Jan 8, 2015
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I have never been through it myself, but I would say just to remember that they both love you in their own ways and it's NOT your fault! They're relationship succeeding or ending is not in any way because of you. You can make it through this divorce.
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