What's it like to go No Contact with your entire family?

If your family members are cruel, it can be a huge relief. If you know they won't change, after giving them many chances, there is no reason to stay in contact with them. If they don't accept you the way you are, it is fair to take time away from them, whether just for awhile or permanently.

Having no contact with your family can be heartbreaking but also very rewarding. It's as though there is a void within you when all contact is lost; that's your blood, people who should be supportive in good and in bad. When family or friends create an unhealthy relationship, this is where it is rewarding to cut loose and be in control.

Months have passed since going no contact with my mom and many siblings. My dad passed years ago. This has been emotionally the best decision, though hard at first, that I have made for taking care of my dignity and self-respect. I am the one in control of my life now instead of them trying to manipulate and control me. I have prepared myself by just expecting difficulty. I remind myself that even though going no contact is causing feelings of loss and grief that these new feelings are less harmful than if I kept the relationships intact. Brene Brown says: "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others." I am emotionally stronger because of going no contact with my parents and siblings for their part of my story is over. It is an unfolding Blessing ….. which gets better as each day passes.

My siblings were always angry at me because my parents openly say and show that I was their favorite child. My mother even announced to my siblings that after I was born, my father was so proud of me, however every time my mother gets pregnant with my younger siblings, my father will get mad at my mother and make her get an abortion. My mother never did and so came my siblings who hated me. It did not matter that I get into fights protecting them, it did not matter that I sacrificed my life, career and finances to help us get our inheritance. I learned later on that they still hated me and this time it was announced through emails.. I told them I am getting old and cannot help them with continuing the work I am doing to get our inheritance, but I would take a smaller portion of my inheritance now along with getting reimburse for all my expenses (the inheritance is in another country, and we are in US) They agreed since they know that they will be getting double the amount I am getting. However, when they realized that without me, the chance of them selling the land for more cannot be done, so now one sibling had been sending hate emails towards me and the other siblings are agreeing with him. I thought my no contact rule will stop once they have their own money, but I realized now that this is a permanent thing. I lost all my faith and trust in all of them, I am now afraid that they will harm me and my children if their greediness is not satisfied. I should never have allowed myself to be used by them in the first place. I kept my relationship with them prior to this incident despite their wickedness and hatred towards me because somehow I felt guilty for my parents behavior towards me and them. I know now that I was not at fault, if they cannot accept me as their sibling just because my parents gave me more than them, then I should just let them go. My no contact with them is like death, my death. At the same time, I feel reborn with the knowledge that now I am free of their hatred.

its hard... ive done this before well,, actually im doing this right now... and its not easy because a piece of you just wants to go talk to those family members but a big part of you is so mad at them...

Family can give the best solution of any problem and they are with you in every good and bad so its better to contact them regular basis instead of no conversation.

My experience as coming from a large family with traditional values. From this family I can name three people who got into a 'no contact' relationship and of those three, two of us who now have some contact. Initially i experienced anxiety and relief. I heard that family members pulled rank and didn't acknowledge the reasons for my dropping contact, instead coming up with their own. They also used online media to 'get updates'. This really bothered me. Alongside that however was the relief that my life was no longer controlled and that I could determine my own rules. I met more people who shared my values, got married and had children. There are some people I now see and some that I do not. I still get grief from family members who I don't see, but in many ways that is the point. I wouldn't want my children in that situtation.

I agave gone no contact with my father. He was abusive my entire life. He attempted to continue the abuse into my adulthood when he threatened my life my 3 year old was in my home. The no contact has spilled over to his entire side of the family when they began to try to tell me he had grand parent rights to my child. I have to protect my baby. It's hard. I miss the feeling of family terribly. As an adult I know in my daughter I have family and she is what matters most and deserves to be protected.

Horrible worst feeling in the world! People are curious what had happened for me to drift off from my parents. You fear of being off and suspect to people. I’m a young adult now wondering “how will I tell my partner this”, “Do I seem strange”. A lot of questions and feelings come to mind. You become a stray dog. Even though you might have friends you’ll never feel like blood (well at least in my life). I been invited to Holiday dinners feeling odd. It’s not fun I did not envision this , I really want to be Normal. A part of me wants to fake my feelings to just reconnect so I won’t be alone for holidays but what good is going to come out when they think I was trouble. People can say wth they want but they’ll never understand. This will make me a humble person. I’m trying to wierdly create new family. Yes I talk to my sisters and my auntie but I don’t talk to my parents. I must say I wish I can restart my life so I won’t have this story , but this has made me stronger. My age I’m only 19 just graduated high school last year starting this bad life( at time of post) All I have to say is to be grateful and try to keep good relations with family as long as it’s healthy.

It can feel refreshing if your family are toxic. If your family are not toxic people, it might feel like you have lost your fountain/foundation of happiness. This will feel depressing and isolating.