What do I do when my husband ignores me?
182 Answers
Moderated by Maria Wasielewski, Master of Arts in Counseling and Guidance, University of Arizona
Updated: May 11, 2022
Anonymous
on
Dec 5, 2020
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communication is always the best way, even though it might be tempting to speak directly, saying "I feel ignored" can annoy your husband and don´t get the expected result. Instead try a more subtle approach , using phrases like "I feel like we haven´t talk recently" or "we are so busy lately, i would like us to plan to spend time together". Marriages can often fall into a routine, so try something different to keep things interesting, a nice dinner, a cute outfit, a new hairstyle, sometimes men are just tired after a long day at work and don´t feel like interacting much, so try to find a time where he is more relaxed and rested to talk to him.
Anonymous
on
Jan 27, 2021
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This is an interesting query because it begs the question "Why is your husband ignoring you?" It is hard to say how you should respond to him ignoring you if there is no reason given that he is ignoring you. It seems like a good place to start might be by asking him (preferably during a time he is not ignoring you) why he sometimes ignores you. There are many potential reasons, some as innocuous as the possibility that he doesn't or can't hear you, so it is important to open up communication about what is really going on when he ignores you first.
Anonymous
on
Feb 24, 2021
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maybe try speaking it out with him. try to think if he is going through something or if he's having bad days at work. maybe try consider family therapy too . if he does not consider going to family therapy its pointless getting hurt. try to focus on yourself and the future of the family.but keep in mind if the relationship is a healthy one and there aren't much misunderstandings working it out maybe better depending what you think you need from this person. don't give up. healing takes time . and im sure you will both work through this.
Lululilypad1023
on
Feb 28, 2021
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Be honest and open. This is the key to a good marriage. Express to him how you feel this way. If he cares about you, he'll listen. Come up with solutions you have for this problem and offer them to him. Your feelings are not insignificant, and it is always good to talk things through. Being silent about how you feel will only make you feel worse, as well as create a bigger chasm in your relationship. Remember, you guys are a team, and a team works together. Be honest and tell him what you're going through, then try to work out the problem with love and sincerity. You got this! I believe in you
peqchybliss
on
Mar 18, 2021
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if i were you, i’d give him some space. he probably needs to relax a bit and just zone out from the world and from a commited relationship. if he still hasn’t talked to you after about a week i would message him and tell him to type his feelings out and even if he didn’t send them he would feel better and you could ask why he has been ignoring you for this week. the reason i am telling you this is because i think everybody needs some space from time to time.
Anonymous
on
Apr 1, 2021
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You should sit down and talk with him and ask him why he’s being like this. You could ask him why he keeps ignoring you and if he’s willing to change to save your marriage. You should always ask to speak about the problems going forward in your relationship because if you didn’t discuss your marriage problems the relationship will not work . You should tell your husband that both of you need to work at the relationship because you love on another and want it to work
Anonymous
on
Apr 29, 2021
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Find something that interests him to open the path to talk about it. Maybe he doesn't know he's ignoring you and it could be something easily fixed. Just try to talk or find an activity you both enjoy doing with each other and see if that opens the line of communication a bit. I'm sure you two can come to some sort of middle point and work it out in the end. There always a positive outcome to any situation that seems tough at first but with some work and dedication anything can be fixed and happiness will be restored.
Anonymous
on
May 2, 2021
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That is a difficult situation to be in particularly when it comes from someone who is supposed to be caring and supportive of you. I'm sorry you're going through that. Whether your husband is conscious or unconscious of it, ignoring someone is a form of dominating them and having control over them. Having direct and honest conversations about how you feel in those situations and setting healthy boundaries which you also talk about in a direct and open way is something I've found can help if the person genuinely does care about you and thus cares about your wellbeing, part of which is how you feel. Everyone is deserving of respect, including you!
Anonymous
on
May 6, 2021
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Ignoring a spouse is a common reaction to an underlying problem in the relationship. That problem can be anything from an accumulation of minor disagreements to one of the partners feeling the relationship has become stale. It's also a common response when a cheating spouse is racked by guilt. The problems aren't always with the relationship itself. Your husband might be trying to find some personal space (this is especially likely if you have young children, and both of you are frantically busy all of the time). He might be stressed about work, or other parts of life, and feel he doesn't have the energy to maintain your relationship right now..
kindHeart888
on
Jun 3, 2021
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Being ignored is extremely painful and hard. You don't know what to do, because it's like a brick wall that is built up between the two of you and blocks any communication from taking place. If there is a specific reason for your husband's behaviour, perhaps you can reach out to him through a letter. Often I find that written words can accomplish more than speech, as they are much more controlled and state clearly and simply where you stand and what is bothering you. Make sure to first write the problems and your feelings down before you start writing the letter, and then, write clearly and neatly what you actually want to say. Tell him that you feel hurt and that you understand that maybe there's a problem going on and you would like to improve, and work on it.
Good luck!
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