What do I do when my husband ignores me?
182 Answers
Moderated by Maria Wasielewski, Master of Arts in Counseling and Guidance, University of Arizona
Updated: May 11, 2022
SpaceDino
on
Jan 30, 2020
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I think it would be important to get to the bottom of why your husband is ignoring you. It might be related to your and your relationship but it could also be entirely unrelated and something personal he is going through. We can't get very far on the basis of speculating and hypothesizing. Better to engage in open communication so you know what is going on and can act accordingly. Let your husband know how being ignored is making you feel and voice your needs going forward. Maybe he also has needs that he hasn't felt able to voice. Through open and honest communication, try to find a way to move forward and reconnect.
CalmCourage
on
Mar 5, 2020
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I would bring it up with him. One little communication tip I learnt was to say 'I love you and' then you say what you are struggling with - in your case your husband ignoring you. The crucial word is 'and' not 'but' because that makes it seem like your love is hanging on it. But if you guys have a chat about it in a adult way where you are both understanding each others view points then things will change for the better. Hope this helps and you guys get a chance to talk to each other, try the 'I love you and' see how that works for you.
Anonymous
on
Apr 5, 2020
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Talk to him. Communicate with him because more often than that, it can be a small misunderstanding that may lead to unnecessary confrontations and petty fights. If he's ignoring you, he has a reason and there's no better way to find out other than talking to him about it, see how he feels, why he feels that way, and talk about it. Come to a solution together instead of creating assumptions in your head that will cause distress. Your approach towards him will matter a lot so think about it. Having a civil conversation would be the ideal way to go. After all, all relationships have ups and down.
sunshinesparkles2468
on
Apr 8, 2020
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try to find time to spend with him, tell him how he is making you feel and explain to him what you two can do together to try and overcome this obstacle, if you dont find that talking with him i helping and or he isnt replying. see if there are any reasons as to why he would be acting this way. if none of those options have worked you could always try to do couple therapy. it is possibe he is going through something and doesnt feel like he wants to speak right now. that can always be a possibility.
PineappleLemon
on
May 8, 2020
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That sounds incredibly unpleasant! I've had this happen to me in the past - it's not enjoyable and over time I felt de-valued and not respected (in which everyone deserves that respect when having conversations!). If possible, in the past I asked to have a conversation with my partner regarding these issues. I would first start with something that is a positive in the relationship (i.e. maybe non-verbal acts of kindness around the house?). Then, I would attempt to integrate the fact that your feelings when you are ignored. From there, discussion would occur and hopefully you two can talk about potential solutions!
Hope this helps!!
mysteriousPeace7489
on
May 10, 2020
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There are a few different ways to go about this. The ideal way to go about it is to tell him how it makes you feel. No one likes to be ignored, and no one should have to deal with it from their significant other. Ignoring people promotes no progress, it only does damage. Ideally, he should respect you enough to not do it simply because you don't like it. Another way is to ignore him back (followed up by a discussion on how it makes you feel), because he'll be able to get an idea of how much it sucks to be ignored and will likely be particularly aware of the negatives of it. And finally, give him space. Sometimes someone ignoring a person isn't done in the interest of avoiding them, but protecting them. People need time to calm down to avoid saying things they don't mean, and this could be his way of doing that.
safeshoulder2CryOn
on
May 15, 2020
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When my husband ignores me, i should not be offended by his apparently withdrawal. Instead, i would respect this as his need for his personal space for introspection or to nurture other hobbies. Constant communication do not indicate closeness.In fact ignorance is a method of tolerance that some men employ to hide their displeasure about our behaviours. This space is needed by both for us to heal. Being a couple is like being on a see-saw. When one is happy n high, the other is feeling blitzingly low. A balance is hard to achieve.So silence is golden and would serve both well to respect it.
raymaniii
on
May 27, 2020
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Being ignored by a loved one is tricky. I think that the first step is figuring out why he is ignoring you and work from there. Communication is key! Talking about the problem with your husband in a loving way shows that you care. This is an important aspect in any relationship, especially a marriage. Telling him how you feel will definitely help. Maybe he is unaware that you are feeling this way. Bottom-line is that in any relationship, both people need to show the other person that they are loved, as well as communicate when they are feeling unloved. In the end, with lots of talking and plenty of love, things will work out!
Anonymous
on
May 29, 2020
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I think clear communication is important. Find a quiet time to sit down with him and explain how you are feeling and why. There may be a reason why he is ignoring you at certain times when you talk; it may be that he is distracted by a phone and therefore you need a no phone rule when talking, or that he has just gotten home from work and his mind is distracted/tired, and therefore he needs some time to himself before he is ready to give you his full attention. It could be a number of reasons so try working together to find the cause(s) and figure out a solution that works for both of you.
Anonymous
on
Jun 7, 2020
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Try approaching him slowly and try talking it out with him. Don't ask anything that may be too serious and instead , try talking it out privately and calmingly. Try approaching when there is nobody around or when you two are in a private place. If he decides to still ignore you , try doing the same thing back and if he tries to talk to you , talk it out with him. If he tries to avoid being asked why he is ignoring you , isolate yourself from him. Try distancing yourself from him for a short period of time.
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