The relationship with my mother in law is ruining our life. Should I confront her?

Yes, it is best if you confront your mother in law. If people do things that are affecting someone's life, they should be made aware of what their actions do to someone. They should be held liable for the things that they cause because nobody should get away for doing bad things to someone especially if it goes as far to ruining someone's life. If you don't try to confront her, they would keep doing what they are doing and even worse, try to do it to someone else because in their mind, what they're doing is right because no one is calling out on them.