My parent wants me to do something I don't want to do, how can I tell them no?
Anonymous
on
Nov 8, 2014
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Sit down with your parents and have a mature chat with them to show them that you understand. Tell them what is bothering you, tell them why it's bothering you. Conditions can work too, example: "If I don't do this, I could do this...".
HealingLotus
on
May 6, 2015
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You be honest and upfront with them, and tell them no. They are your parents, not your owner. They can't force you to do anything you don't want to do.
wonderer
on
Nov 7, 2014
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Calmly tell them you don't want to do it and give them a rational explanation why. Sometimes parents think they are having us do things that is good for us but they can't always see that it may not be something we don't want to do.
dancingLion66
on
Jan 27, 2016
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Do they know that you donot like what they want you to do, Do they insist that you should do even after knowing that you do not like
Anonymous
on
Nov 18, 2014
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It is important to respect your parents wants at times, but if they are pressuring you to do something you do not feel comfortable doing or simply do not want to do, you can politely and respectfully tell them how you feel about the matter. Depending on what it is, I would suggest finding an appropriate TIME to reach out to your parents and explain how you feel. Knowing that it is a good time for them to talk to you can really help gain their support and attention. Let them know you want to talk and ask when they could sit down and talk while focusing solely on you. (Don't try and talk to them about it during work, when they are returning emails to their boss, when they have somewhere to be for work, when they've had a bad day, etc.) I
Anonymous
on
Jan 14, 2016
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It's always a tough situation to be in when you have to tell your parents that you don't want to do something they want you to do. You are raised up by your parents, and most people grow up with their parents constantly saying no to them. Parental authority is implicit in this way of relating. For as long as you can remember, the parent has been the sole source of survival. They fed you, changed you, made sure all of your needs were met. Early childhood memories serve as a skeleton for further understanding as we grow up, so the imprint is very strong. It permeates many aspects of the way we think about spirituality and god, the government, teachers and professors, doctors, scientific experts, etc.
Letting go of this in order to set boundaries a parent can feel extremely threatening because that subconscious link between parental love and survival is one of the earliest memories and thus a foundation for other knowledge and beliefs.
My mother was a single parent who worked very hard to take care of me. She loves me a lot, but sometimes she can be difficult to deal with. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and used to break things in the house quite often and date very abusive men, who in turn often abused me physically and sexually. She has cooled down as we have both gotten older, but I've had to work really hard to establish some boundaries with her.
When she is anxious or upset, it often helps me to think of mirrors. Mirrors embrace what is in front of them and reflect things transparently, and when the people in front of them go, no trace is left behind.
If I sit with myself for awhile until the emotions and thoughts clear through and I stop believing my own mind, sometimes feelings of love and groundedness will come to take the place of the thoughts. From this place it becomes easier to express what really feels true. If that feeling means I have to tell a parent "no", that's okay.
sunshine225
on
Oct 25, 2014
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you just have to explain to your parents nicely that what they're asking you to do, doesn't interest you.
WickeddVibes
on
Nov 18, 2014
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Explain to your parents that you do not want to do this activity. Tell them how it makes you feel and explain to them why you do not want to do it.
Snowfire
on
Nov 17, 2014
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It depends on how old you are. If you are a minor who is living at home, your parents have the right to set certain rules to keep you safe and healthy. In that case, you can still respectfully broach the subject if you think it is negotiable, like curfew, for example, which may change as you become older. But you may also need to let it go and trust that your parents want what is best for you. If it is something you truly believe is unreasonable, possibly even hurtful to you, it is best to get the advice of another adult, possibly someone who knows you and your parents.
Anonymous
on
Mar 13, 2015
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Be honest with yourself and your parents on how you feel. If you are made to do something that you do not want to do,later on it could make you feel resentful towards your parents.
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