My father is having an extramarital affair. Part of me wants to end my relationship with him for cheating on my mom, but i worry that he will be depressed as he loves me a lot. How do I deal with this situation?

I am not sure whether you are a teen or adult. Regardless of whether you are a teen or an adult, you aren't responsible for your father's emotions and feelings. If you are an adult, you can break out with him and you needn't to have any regrets because of it. It is your life, your father is responsible for himself and for his feelings. If you are a teen, you can consider trying to set boundary to what do you need as his child from him and this part of relationship between you and your father can't be broken till you are 18. But regardless of it you can distance self from your father's deeds which have nothing with your upbringing.

What you know about your father is that he loves you, as you said. You may not know in what circumstances this affair started, so your best bet is a ) not to judge and b ) continue to love him. Your role is not to take sides (even just to show support for your mother) and hold your comments to either parent. Extramarital affairs are not that rare, unfortunately. However, I am sure you must be struggling with this issue and 7 cups is the perfect venue to talk your heart out with a listener and sort your feelings that way.

This is a difficult situation. On one hand, it is very evident that you care about your father's feelings, but on the other hand, he seems to be perpetuating an unhealthy cycle which appears to be negatively impacting both you and your mother. It seems like one of the prominent issues here is a lack of healthy boundary setting. First, your father, having crossed a boundary to have an extramarital affair (if your parents are monogamous and this was not something that was negotiated and consented to) is demonstrating a lack of healthy boundaries towards his marriage. Secondly, it is clear he has also breached a boundary of trust with you. Thirdly, while it is understandable that you would care about his potential feelings of depression if you end the relationship with him, this also shows that you may be having difficulty drawing a line between "his stuff" and "your stuff", otherwise stated, difficulty with boundaries. It is not your responsibility to get involved or pick up after your parents. When they make mistakes, it is not your responsibility to pretend like everything is fine, if you feel (as you evidently do) that it is not fine. But it is also not your responsibility to assert your opinions if it is between them. If you are still grappling with whether to end the relationship, consider that if you do not end your relationship with your father, it should be on your terms, it should be because you feel it is what you want to do. It should not be because you feel guilt for his emotional processes. He made the decision to have an affair, and the results of that should be his to deal with, not yours.

Hi so nice to meet you! I understand that this situation is sticky and I cannot offer you advice but I can be an ear to your problems. This way the problem is less heavy on your chest. I would tell you to focus on how it’s affecting you and how it’s making you feel as an individual. I am going to be here active and will deliver you a prompt response if you feel comfortable enough to share this in more detail to a listener and we will offer you a shoulder to lean you. Hope i could help :)

Situations like this can be difficult to navigate, and I'm sorry you are caught in one. I think you should first make sure he knows how you feel. It's clear that you still care about him, at least a little, given you are still worried for him. Thus, maybe open a conversation with him about it, and how he feels and how you feel. If you decide that the way he feels does not align with the type of father you want to have in your life, you are free and allowed to make that decision. It also does not have to be forever. People do change, and maybe he will be one of those people.

Adult relationships can be complex. A cheating parent can be a nightmare, but in a situation like this, it's important to see your parents as individuals themselves. They can make their own decisions and bear their own consequences. You're not responsible for the decisions they make. Apart from being your mother's husband, he's also YOUR father. You have the right to pick without feeling guilty. If you believe that he loves you, you can choose to have a relationship with him. And if you choose to support your mother, nobody can blame you. What do YOU want? The decision is only yours. Your choice matters, and nobody gets to dictate what you should choose.

Thank you for reaching out! It’s really natural to feel conflicted, yet want the best for both your parents. I can imagine how overwhelmed and lost you must be feeling from everything that's been going on. When parents have extramarital affairs it can be very traumatizing and upsetting for the child. Dealing with a situation like this is very difficult and you've shown a lot of courage speaking about this. You've also shown how much you care for both of your parents and that's very admirable given the situation you're in. Would you like to reflect on how you came about knowing the truth of your fathers infidelity? Was it a confession from his part or did someone in your family find out? What would you feel comfortable in doing to help you make yourself and your situation feel better? What existing support do you feel you already have? FamilyLine is an example of a support organisation concerning family matters. You are welcome to communicate with anyone of our amazing listeners or therapists on our site for further support. The Relationship support room is open for group based communication every Thursday 24/7 to reach out to those going through issues related to family, friends or loved ones.

I can understand the strong and conflicting feelings you are experiencing after the revelation from your father. From my experience, it's important not to make any huge decisions while you are grieving, if you have the option. You seem to care a lot for your father and are concerned about his well-being, despite his actions, and that shows a lot of strength and selflessness. I think it's important that you give yourself the space you need. It's possible that your father may feel depressed for a wide range of reasons during this time (including the consequences of his own actions), and you can't take responsibility for any of that. If I was in your shoes, I would take this time to get the care I would need for myself. Whether it's time to grieve the loss of your parent's marriage or the breach in trust, counseling, healthy distractions like hobbies, or spending time with others. Then, when you're ready, revisit the idea of whether you truly want to end your relationship with your father.

Hi, It's tough knowing about parents extra marital affairs. Whether it's father's or mother's it's too sensitive for children to handle. I would say it's not best to take a stand unless your relationship is not impacted. The parents are grown up and know what they want or don't want. You are not fully matured to judge their requirements mental or physical. So keep away from interfering on those things . Love is beyond marriage these days , you can't accept my idea unless you see it on reality. So love them as you do always, don't anger or show difference in your interest.

It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life that would cause you to worry or battle with your emotions and the next steps in moving forward. It sounds like you’re angry with your dad for his affair but also don’t want to hurt him. I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling and I’m here to listen. What do you think would be helpful to you right now? Know you’re not alone and there are many people here to listen and support you. How do you think your parents would respond to having a sit down together to talk about it?