My family is emotionally abusive. How can I fix them?

Hi ! When it's raining, and we need to go out, we have 3 choices : (1) Get wet, (2) use an umbrella, (3) change the plan and don't go out. When families get to us, we also have three choices : (1) Feel miserable and abused (2) Understand what is happening and do something about it and (3) Change family. (3) can be complicated !, (1) offers little hope for the future, (2) is a great choice !! Try connecting to a listener, and see if you can't get yourself an umbrella for your family. Maybe you can't fix them, like you can't stop it raining, but at least you can protect yourself from getting soaked.

If your family is emotionally abusive, I believe that individual counseling would be the best option. I understand how much this abuse can hurt but it comes from an issue that your parent possibly went through. I think that abuse can have a deep root in family passing on from one generation to another. People swear to themselves that they would not continue the pattern but possibly ignore the warning signs that they are doing so. Talking to a therapist and confronting the problem head on is the best way to end this torment.

You can't change people, but you can try to get them to understand you. You need to understand them as well before doing that though.

There is no one way to fix an abusive family. The question you could ask is: "How can I fix the situation in my life where my family is abusive to me?" The answer to that could include you refusing to participate in being the recipient of any abuse from anyone whether it's a family member or not. This doesn't mean you should be confrontational. Avoiding abuse could be as simple as ending a phone call by simply hanging up with no warning or blocking someone from emailing or on social media if their intention was to harass you or cause you distress. Most abusive people won't continue to try to contact you if you do this but some may and demand an explanation for why you hung up or didn't respond to their voice mail, email, social media. It is up to you as to whether or not you will respond and how you will/will not respond to this continual and blatant abuse.

Unfortunately, we can't change how other people act but we can change how we react to them. Do you think your family would talk to a professional? Do you think it would help if you pretend it does not bother you?

Unfortunately, trying to "fix" people hardly ever works because people are very rarely broken, only bent or clouded over with anxiety, depression, prejudice, etc. The best you can do is approach in a way that is non-threatening or in any way on the offensive and to try to guide them into realizing that their behavior is abusive emotionally, and maybe try to show them how unhealthy and harmful that can be.

The truth is, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself and your situation. If sitting down and talking to them heart-to-heart doesn't change them, the best thing to do is change your perspective. Try not to let them bring you down, and look towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Stay positive :)

I am sorry you are going through this difficult time, you are brave for speaking about your family

It might be best if you were to ask them if you all could sit down and talk and you let them know how they make you feel and ask them if they can stop.

Its not your job to try to fix your family. When families are broken, its not one family members job to fix it, its a team effort. Everybody in the family has to be willing to seek help and try to break the cycle of abuse. Its not your job alone to "fix" them/