I have manipulative or rude family members. I love them, but how can I keep my distance or create boundaries when they are like that?

Well it's important that they know that their behavior is damaging towards you If they already know this and still do not stop, perhaps you can excuse yourself from situations where this might happen

It can be tough to create and hold boundaries with family members that have unhealthy behaviors and tendencies. I have had to deal with this as well. I have found that the toughest part is to hold your boundaries firm. Creating that boundary, whatever it may be, and then sticking to it. A way it was explained to me is, the way you would do so is like creating a boundary for a child, where you explain the boundary and give a warning if they do it again. For example, "It makes me uncomfortable when you speak about xyz topic and I am going to hang up the phone/end the conversation if you continue." If they continue, "I have already said that talking about xyz topic makes me uncomfortable and that I would hang up if you continued to bring it up." and if they continue to do so, "I have already mentioned it twice, I am hanging up the phone now." Another thing that has helped me, personally, is remembering that I can only control myself and my "stuff". Their stuff is theirs. I don't need to hold onto stuff that isn't mine. Also, you got this! Believe in yourself and be confident in holding your boundaries!

Most important thing is perspective you are looking from.As you sad you love them, they are your family, but think from the perspective of good, what they want to accomplish, maybe that is a good think in the end and that is the way they think is the best way to accomplish that, I think you should notice them when they do that and consider if that's what they want to accomplish good or bad, if it is bad throw that away and don't accept that if it is good accept and do that and show them a way to get that without being rude or manipulative

Be firm with your boundaries, sometimes family members can be overbearing but there still family, but if it's really serious you can love them from a distance!

There are two ways about it when it comes to family. I would try to be direct first. You tell them how it makes you feel when they say/do certain things and you request them politely to try not do it in the future and give you permission to remind them to do so. If that is not an option I'd still tell them clearly that you don't agree with their opinion/way of doing things and you still love them but please allow you to be yourself and do what you see fit.

There is a such thing of saying what you feel while being respectful and nice, it's all about your delivery. It's okay to let people know how you feel even if it is a family member.

not all people will like us and people are entitled to there own options try to b understanding and give them respect to do anything else would make us just like them

I totally understand this confusing feeling of loving the family but also wanting to leave them. From my own experiences, I will say to try to communicate with them about the problem even though it might be very difficult to address it. It is normal that, at first, they don’t want to listen or don’t understand what you’re trying to communicate. It might take a bit of time for them to start to understand but it is always a good start to solve the origins of the problem then running away or hiding from it. Then, you can proceed to explain what would you like them to change or modify by telling your reasons. Finally, you can ask them what do they think about your suggestions: what and why do they approve or disapprove, what are their reasons behind those behaviors, etc.

Creating boundaries with toxic family members and friends is a great idea. It's important to value yourself and if creating those lines in the sand will help you keep your sanity, do it. First, identify the situations that require boundaries. What are your triggers here? What's okay and what's not okay? For example, my trigger was family members whispering about me and my ability to accomplish my career goals. Anticipate these situations and anticipate your need to create some distance. It's totally okay to walk away! You can come up with a coping strategy in advance, such as going for a jog, joining a support group, or ranting to a friend. Whatever helps. Also, don't feel compelled to stick to societal norms and practice saying no to family. It doesn't make you an unfilial son/daughter if you don't want them coming over for the holidays. Say no, sorry I have plans. Prioritize what YOU need here. Finally, remember that boundaries can be flexible. As we change or situations around us shift, our boundaries can shift with them. Think about what you need right now in the moment.