I am adopted and want to find my birth mother, my mom seems very uneasy about my wanting to do this. How can I ease her worries and still ty to do this?

"I recognize that you feel very uneasy about my search for my birth mother. I love you and am so grateful that you are my mother. Family is who we choose it to be, and I am grateful you chose me to be part of yours. I want us to continue having a great relationship. Maybe if I explain why I am looking and why it is important to my identity, it would help you to understand. I think this is important to me because ___ and I feel ___ about the idea of finding someone related to me. I feel ___ towards you and I hope you feel ___ towards me too. I want to know that I can count on your love and support in the trying days ahead for me and that you will always be there for me as my mother.

Explain to her that she will always be your mother and you will always respect and love her as much as you do now and there is no need to worry

Maybe she is just trying to protect you on what you are about to find out or she is just afraid to loose you. You have to assure her that whatever you find out you will be able to deal with it and you will always have her to help and you will also have to assure her that things will not change between the two of you even if you meet your real mom.

Speaking assertively involves expressing your views clearly, whilst keeping your mom's feelings in mind. I'd recommend approaching her calmly and reassuring her that it does not make her any less of your mother, simply that you have every right as an adoptee to want to meet your birth mother.

Tell your mom you love her and always will. But that you need to know what happened in the past and the reason why you eventually where adopted. So you can make peace with your past and life a without having to look back and thinking about unanswered questions which keep you busy. There are many questions to be asked and answers to be given. So that you feel better living a life and having or not having a family in the future. But if you do? Then you have a better understanding how to explain it to your own children.

It's helpful when you remind your family how important they are to you. When my little brother decided to do this, that's what was hard from my perspective. It helped a lot to feel my position in his life validated and like he wasn't going to stop seeing me (us) the same way. So I'd say having a frank but loving conversation may be the most helpful thing for your mom. And thinking about how this journey might affect you and your loved ones along the way. It seems like you're being thoughtful about it already, which is the most important thing!