How to stop hating your mother in law?

Try to spend time with her at a neutral place. Try to talk to her about yours needs, about all the things which lead to your hating. Give you and her enough time to improve the relationship. And it's okay to see her first as a foreign person. Maybe you won't accept she as a mum but she and you can get friends, also. Try to learn something about her. Do you have similar interests or hobbies? A new family situation with a mother in law hasn't to be easy but you could see it as a change for new options.

Maybe there are things that you both may have in common - interests, hobbies, that you could try to enjoy together. Bonding can be easier if it is over something both enjoy. Another idea is to think back to when this hatred started, or what the root of it may be, and try to think of what may help you work through or get past that. Depending on how open you two are with communication, you could address the problem head-on, and depending on what her feelings are towards you.. maybe there are things that were misunderstandings and neither side realized what the intended meaning was. It can be surprising how often people can read situations in such different ways than they were intended.

Set boundaries. Try to focus on what you love about your spouse and know that your mother in law had some part in contributing to this part of your spouse that you love. Remain civil and polite, you are not married to your mother in law just their child. 1. Talk it out with your mother-in-law. Let her know you realize your partner is her child and the transition isn’t easy for her. Follow it up by being clear with examples of things you won’t compromise on. Maybe you’d like her to call before she comes over. Perhaps you don’t want her telling you how to raise your kids, or asking you why you don’t pack a lunch for your partner each day. Chances are if you tell her in a nice calm way, she will stop. Maybe this is how her MIL treated her, or maybe she has no idea it bothers you because you’ve never mentioned it before. It’s also important that parents can gaslight their own children and in-laws without realizing they are doing it. That kind of behavior is not acceptable, whether it’s on purpose or not. Call it out calmly and succinctly. Approach the conversation with clear examples and why that behavior is toxic and unhealthy. However, if that fails, try the following: 2. Plan an activity for your spouse and their mother. Whether you are on her turf or she is on yours, plan something fun for her and your partner to do without you. Maybe it’s lunch at their favorite restaurant or a trip to her favorite store and a movie. Whatever it may be, it’s going to be a win for her because she gets to spend time with her child. And it will be a win for your partner (hopefully) because they will get to spend time with their mother without you threatening to chop her hair off once she falls asleep. And it will be really nice for you.

For me, removing animosity was about accepting who they are and removing my expectations from the table. It has also meant that, while sometimes I may be upset or hurt by her actions or words, I do not own them as my truth. I am continually learning how to love her without having to always like her. We are chosen family now. Some days I have to put my spouse and their shared relationship between mother and child before my feelings. It’s hard and I fail sometimes, but I also learn. Healthy boundaries with my mother-in-law have been the key to my being able to show her continued kindness in the midst of differing ideas.

A classic relationship that is full of emotions and tug of war. It's okay to feel the dislike or even hate but it is important not to let this hate to seep in and destroy your own behaviour , personality and peace of mind. It's okay to look at a negative stuff but it is not okay to give it a place to fester inside you. That is self harming. One good way to manage MIL is to understand a little where she is coming from and to know that if she has a lot to learn about acceptance and unconditional love. You do not have to teach her as she has to learn that lesson on her own. The best is to avoid being in a presence too much as that might trigger your emotions and this might cause a chain reaction like anger towards your spouse or kids. If you have to share your space with her then , think of her as someone you help or serve someone in a charity home. Won't you show some respect and compassion for that stranger. Well you could practise and operate from that level of emotions when you have to do things for your MIL.

Mother in laws are biased simply because they're mothers. It can be hard to see things from their point of view if you're not a mother yourself. Perspective taking and asking "how would I feel as a mother" can be helpful when having difficulties with in laws in general. Understanding that they prioritize their child and their family is the first step to figuring out what makes the relationship between you and them work. More often than not, your own mother would prioritize you and your side of the family before the in laws, and this can be hard to understand, especially since you're married to someone that your family doesn't prioritize. This is a generalization, and maybe your family does prioritize the in laws and maybe the in laws prioritize you too. But looking from both sides is key to stop hating in laws in general

If you love your wife, you'd love everything of her. Her issues now became your issues. Her joy, now became your joy. Her worries now became your worries. And yes, her family is now your family too. So let's rephrase your question, "How do we stop hating our mothers?" The answer is fairly simple or complicated depending on who you ask, but the basic idea is we have to accept the generational gap and take them as who they are. It is we, that have to be the larger person and accept them and love them when they annoy us/ do unreasonable things (but of course not anything that violent or stuffs like that). But if they're personalities are odd and stuff, we have to be tolerant. Because our mother raised us as a kid when we're playful and naughty, and gave them tons of trouble. My experience is when they grew older, a part of their childish side returns. And it is now our turn to take care of them. And in your case, im not exactly sure what your mother in law does, but before making any decision, stand in your wife's shoe, and do whats best for her and your family.

Focus on yourself so that you can understand yourself better and learn how to best adapt to your mother in law. Remember that you have the choice of how to react. Communication often times also helps make a relationship easier to understand or solidify. Make it clear what expectations you have from her and ask her what she expects from you as well. Furthermore, be clear about your boundaries. Honestly just be direct with her, and try not to judge her of "fix" her, instead try to understand where she comes from. Lastly, don't take anything she says or does personally if it in any way is negatively aimed at you because sometimes she can have no idea about you either.

Think about it this way, your mother in law is a human being with her own upbringing, experiences, thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It's easy to typecast her in a negative role just because she's your mother in law. If you guys are not seeing eye to eye because she isn't open to you or doesn't like you, try to find out why. If you know why she doesn't like you and it's not something you can change her mind about, then just don't try to. If you just don't like her character as a human being, then your feelings are valid and you should create more distance between her and yourself. Hatred is a strong word, so if you truly and honestly hate her and it's pretty justified why you do, then it's best to not try to manipulate yourself into liking her. Create space between the both of you and don't speak ill about her.

Learn that relationships and people come with time. And you are your best cheerleader. Learn to love yourself first. Once you love yourself, everything else will come naturally. You are amazing, believe to that! You are truly your best motivational speaker when it comes to people and interactions. Mother in laws can be harsh but you got this! Have faith. Believe in yourself and know that interactions with others come with alot of emotions. Just love yourself most and your partner and you both deal with everything together and never apart. I believe in YOU and you can do it.