How to stop hating your mother in law?
ILoveTacos88
on
Jul 14, 2019
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This is a tough one; there's a reason MiL jokes exist, I suppose. It might be helpful to self-reflect to get a better understanding of why you hate her exactly or what "buttons" she pushes for you. For example, my MiL really pushes my "I'm being criticized/judged" buttons. Since sometimes it's unavoidable whether or not we have to interact or spend time with MiLs, it can also be helpful to come up with ways to take good care of yourself when she's around or you do have to interact with her. Would mantras help? Talking to your partner beforehand to come up with a game plan? Taking small breaks to go to the bathroom and take some deep breaths? Whatever will help you stay grounded and get through the interaction. Hope this helps.
Anonymous
on
Oct 25, 2019
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I would question myself and try to understand why do I hate her so much: what behaviour, attitude or character trait are particularly difficult for me. What does trigger my hate ?
I would then work on trying to change my feelings toward her. I would discuss it with my partner, my friends, and maybe a psychologist to have other people's views. Basically, get some distances with the situation. I truly believe there is always something good about anyone, something of value to share with the World.
I would finally change my behaviour and see the reaction.
I would favorise short quality time than long stay with my mother in law.
eternalLily3467
on
Jan 4, 2020
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First step, Self Reflect on why you hate your mother in law. Second step, Write down the reasons for your hatred. Three, discuss valid concerns with your mother in law in a respectful manner. Conclusion, Once you discuss your problems with your mother in law you maybe able to overcome these issues and get along well. Usually the cause of hatred is avoiding discussing issues or habits that concern us. And it usually the avoiding that makes matters worse. Therefore, face your issues head on and try to resolve them with your mother in law in order to have a good relationship with her.
juniper0
on
Feb 23, 2020
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You and your mother in law may bump heads from time to time. It is important to know that you don't need to love your mother in law. You don't even need to like her. But you do need to develop a level of understanding so to avoid any negative altercations with her. No one is perfect, but everyone has some good quality about themselves. Find that within her and focus on that. She is the mother of the person that you love, if that person is really worth the trouble of dealing with her, it would be beneficial to everyone if you all got along.
Anonymous
on
Mar 4, 2020
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I guess it depends why you hate her. If you do hate her for personal reasons that doesn't necessarily come from her, then I'd suggest to get to know her and let her get to know you. You can't judge a book by it's cover and sometimes we can judge people too quickly. Also I guess you could see what other people think, like your significant other and see how they deal with things. I hope you'll be able to like her in some way eventually and maybe you can check out some forums or try to deal with it with people in real life. Take care
greentea12034
on
Apr 9, 2020
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You can't just decide to hate or love people. Emotions are much more complex than that. What you can do, is try to understand why you feel that way about your MIL. When you have a good understanding of what the issue is, you can try to come to terms with it and develop a better state of mind. if this is an option, sit down and have a conversation with her. Be understanding and polite, and try to have a rational conversation about why there is conflict. Remember, she loves her child and is a human with complex feelings and emotions too. However, if things are beyond repair, try to focus on letting go of the issue instead of resolving it. improve your own mental state; holding hatred inside is not healthy.
generousTurtle9108
on
Apr 11, 2020
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It is completely understandable to want to have an independent, unique, private relationship with your spouse without the outside influence that in-laws pose. Mother-in-laws often also want to maintain their own relationship with their child as well - she was the one to raise, nurture, and develop that person into the spouse that you now know and love today. What others have found helpful is trying to find ways to both welcome the gratitude for where your spouse is today and also - at the same time - maintaining a separate relationship. Finding something that she takes pride in, finds comfort in, and can do for you and your spouse might be helpful in making her remember that she is still important and meaningful part of your spouse's life, and now yours. At the same time, it is ok to decide with your spouse what your relationship's boundaries will be and how those will be upheld. Maintaining frequent communication with your spouse about your triggers and an action plan with how to deal with those is important.
Anonymous
on
Apr 26, 2020
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sometimes we have to realize that we cannot change others actions and perceptions only our own. forgiving her for whatever she has done and letting go of the hatred is not about benefiting her it benefits you because you decrease the negative emotions you feel.
Have you ever heard about individuals who have forgiven killers for killing family members? on a lesser scale similar to that, for you to lead a happier life you need to let go of resentment. There are multiple ways such as writing a letter, burning it, exercise, lighting a candle, or even talking with your mother in law to find common ground. find a way that works for you and utilize it to make yourself happier because in the end that's whats important.
TracyBeeeee
on
May 23, 2020
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Spend time with her, getting to know her. Do activities she and you both enjoy to build a common interest you can turn to to connect with her better. When you spend more of this time with her you will be able to build a better relationship with her to develop love for her. Since she is the mother of your spouse it is very important to obtain and maintain this good relationship. Focus on trying to find different ways to do things with and for her so you will be in her good graces. When she starts treating you with more respect you will inevitably start liking her more.
LauraHeretohelp
on
Jun 3, 2020
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I think the beginning step is to identify why you dislike them, is it due to how you are feeling? Does your relationship with somebody feel at risk due to your mother in law? Express your emotions and take baby steps to bond. Perhaps you have a common interest or a positive element you are not aware of yet :)! Most importantly, take care of yourself and do not put pressure on yourself. Communication with those around you may also be beneficial, such as you communicate with your partner how you feel and asking what are the appropriate steps to moving foward.
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