How to stop hating your mother?

You can try to understand what she went through and have empathy to what she is going through, that is the ultimate way of understanding, when this is why it is important to give space for great understanding without hate nor resentment, and allow the possibility of moving on with your life whether for a different place, different outcome . Having the audacity to carry your mistakes and move forward is a powerful strength you can have as a human being. And know that the hate will circulate in your life, it will never be resolved with hate, rather choose understanding of why she does what she does.

Recognize that your mother is human like you. Have empathy. If she abused you, used you, hurt you, try to come to terms with why she might have done that. Was she also abused, used, or hurt? My own mother's mother was a narcissist, for example, and in many ways make my mother a codpendent-narcissist-like person, which made my own childhood harder. Maybe there is intergenerational trauma present, and recognizing it and understanding it could be a way to come to terms with how it has affected you in your own life. Alternatively, if the hate is coming from someone more specific, like a specific event in the past, it might be worth either (1) having an honest conversation with your mother about what happened, how you feel, what you would like to see moving forward; or (2) at least talking it out with someone who you trust, who would be supportive of your situation.

Hate is a strong emotion to have towards another person. It must be difficult not having positive feelings towards your mother. One must evaluate the relationship and determine the cause of the emotion and seek out an opportunity to mend the relationship or build it depending on what the circumstances are around the emotion or strain on the relationship. My relationship with my mother is not optimal and I must learn to take the initiative to build the relationship with her even though my first instinct is to cut off communication. Relationships are difficult and we must practice building positive relationships in our lives.