How to stop hating your mother?

To understand that she is a human and is capable of making mistakes. Yes, she is a parent, but she's a human first, with her own experiences and her own past. there is no such thing as a perfect parent or a human and we just have to understand that. What your mother did - it may not be okay but it depends on so many factors - her upbringing, schooling, the way she was conditioned, her marriage and her mental health. We dont need to forget, but understanding their life and experiences is what matters. It's tough, but hating someone only hurts you.

First, try to understand her side of the story. Maybe there is something we missed. Then if you still think what she did was wrong then explain to her . Maybe she'll understand your side. If she did , you have no need to hate her . But in cases where she won't understand or listen, it is best not to think about it and move on. Never keep the grudge . Find a job , keep yourself busy . Do not give the time to Think about it. Because in her perspective, she is right and there is nothing we can do about it. Never show hate even if you can't control it

First, you need to ask yourself why do you hate your mother? Next, it may be helpful to ask yourself some boundaries, rules, and expectations that you have for your mother that will give you the sense of comfort in you and your mothers' relationship. Then communicating your feelings may be helpful in creating boundaries, rules, and expectations that can further develop your relationship into a great one. With that in mind, if the relationship is abusive either mentally, emotionally, or physically, you need to start working at letting go of this relationship that might be holding you back, or discussing this with a family therapist.

If you really want to stop hating your mother, try forgiving her and healing from what hurt you. If you don’t agree with her, at least try to listen to her side of the story. Actively take steps to bridge the gap between the both of you by having tea together, watching a movie or taking walks. If you're comfortable with your father, understand from his perspective when situations went sour and take his advice on what he thinks your mother's thoughts are on your relationship. Consider being a friend to her which will make it easier to forgive and let go rather than seeing her in the role of a mother. Hope this helps!

The first step would be understanding that hatred hurts you more than it would hurt her. Being such an extreme emotion, hate is bound to cause a lot of emotional stress that can otherwise be avoided. And try thinking about things from your mother's point of view. You might not agree with what she did or what she's doing but maybe she's just doing what she thinks is best for you. And/or she might not know better. Unfortunately, not many parents go into parenting knowing how to parent. You don't have to forgive your mother but trying to understand her point of view and why she feels that way may help.

Putting yourself in her shoes or giving the benefit of the doubt towards how she was raised herself by her parents. It's possible she acts the way she acts because of how she was raised and the difficulties she faced. Every situation is different because every mother is different but psychologically how we were raised does have an impact on how we act or raise our own children so having a negative relationship and hating your own mother will actually be a detriment towards how you behave towards your own children, how you choose to make them view you, and how you develop and maintain other relationships in your life.

It is valid to feel all kinds of emotions with people, your mother is a human too and so it makes sense that she is not perfect . Try to put yourself in your mother's shoes. No one gives moms a book on how to be a mother, and a lot of the time, they are just trying to figure it out the best they can. Most of the time, they just want what is best for their children and the way they express that may not always translate well. Sometimes, they could be just trying to prevent their children from making the same mistakes they made and that is their motives behind why they do some things. This may be why they do things you do not write understand. Just know life is short and our time with our parents is limited. You may not want to look back one day and realize you spent most that time hating someone who really just wanted the best for you or simply knowing you tried to forego hate could be calming when your heart and mind need that assurance and peace .

I think that with any emotion its worth exploring the function or cause. In my experience, hate was a result of anger that I was using to deal with the hurt the person I hated had caused me. Once I identified that this was the reason for my hate I asked myself if it really helped me with processing my emotions. For a period of time it did, and then I let the hate go and started moving on to acceptance. I think it's important to keep in mind that hate is one of many natural reactions to hurt and it serves a function. So my advice would be to explore the function of the hatred, why is it there? Where did it come from? How long have you felt this way? then ask yourself if its necessary. Some people feel empowered by their hatred. If this is not you, then ask yourself if you can let the hatred go. It might not happen right away, processing emotions take time after all, but eventually there will be room for peace.

It helped me to consider where my mom was coming from. She did the best she could for the situations she was in. I always resented her for not standing up for me when my dad was abusive toward me, but now I understand that she wasn't psychologically strong enough to do that. I feel compassion toward her now, because she didn't have enough resources growing up to make her feel confident and capable to do what she really wanted to do. I'm sure she wanted to do what was best for me. I have used this experience as a learning tool for my own life. I have had to learn to give myself the support I needed from my parents. It's an ongoing process, but I hope I can do better than they did.

This is a complex question that entails three parts of work. 1) Why do you hate her in the first place? What happened? 2) How come you no longer want to hold onto the grudge/hate? 3) Is your hate so deeply rooted that by wanting not to hate her it doesn't automatically disappear? Is your hate so complex and somewhat part of your instincts? These compartments make it impossible to me to give a tailored response. However, I can only encourage to engage with her with compassion, empathy, an open mind and open ears. Maybe her story or reasoning helps. But also take the opportunity to voice your feelings, the love, the hate, the fear. Maybe, if you manage to talk it through, you end up growing positive feelings by resolving whatever conflict happened.