How to stop hating your mother?

You sit her down and try to work things out with her. You try to find the problem that makes you hate her, and you do everything you can to make it work. No, everyday you won't like your mom, I know how you feel there were many days where I was just in my own world and anything my mom did, I'd get mad at her. But, those things happen, and you just have to be honest with her and talk to her about these things. Nothing good will ever go if you don't try to do something like that with her. I wish you luck with that and hope I helped you.

Mothers. We all have problems with them. Most want to know all about what is going on with your life and want to know every single detail. Mine is like that! Quite frustrating sometimes. Me being a girl, it can be quite frustrating. When I was in middle school, I became too cool to talk to my mother and shut her out completely. I didn’t care to have advice from a women who was going through exactly what I was because I was too cool. Now, being 20 and in college and scared to face the world; I want my mother. I crave to have her around me. She is your mother. You were in her body for 9 months then saw you grow. Of course she isn’t going to stop loving you and going to stop wanting to know you because you are growing up. Your mother wants the best for you. It may be hard to see it sometimes depending on age and situations but she does. She will frustrate you but you should never take her for granted. She has the power to take away the pain and show you all the tricks to the world. It gets better. Not all relationships are the same between mothers and children. I can’t say that you were the same as me. I like the say that hate is a strong is a strong way. The word hate sneaks out easily. Be careful who you use it on. Mothers are who brought you into the world but not are all made the same.

I've had a strained relationship with my mother for a long time. We used to be close but I came out to her two years ago and she didn't react very well. It was hard to even try to talk to her because I felt there was no acceptance and trust in that relationship. What i learned is that a lot of the feelings I've had are fears and projections. I was afraid of being rejected. The first step that helped me was taking the initiative of propelling the change instead of waiting around for the change to happen. I had to accept and be kind to myself first. I had to forgive myself first. Then I treated others that way. So I eventually learned how to treat my mother with kindness and acceptance regardless of how she acted towards me.

This is a topic I can relate heavily to. My mother and I, in the past, have been through a lot. There are two separate ways to approach the situation. You can either choose to approach your mother and try to resolve the issues you two have. Or, if that fails, you can choose to let go of the hatred for YOU. You can choose to let go of the hate and move forward. Sometimes people hurt you not because of YOU, but because they may have issues with themselves. So being aware of that may make it easier for you to move forward.

Practicing patience and keeping an open communication helps to build a stronger relationship with our parents. Young adults will not always agree with their moms. Underneath the conflict, mothers will want what is in their children's best interest. Her discipline comes from a place of love, and her guidance is what helps us grow and mature. Learn to forgive and discuss how to gain or rebuild trust in each other. It's important to ask ourselves how we might change our reaction to each other when conflict occurs. It's okay to have arguments. Take a break and get some space when either of you needs it.

If she's done you wrong, maybe you have to understand her reasons first why she's done what she's done that hurt you. And then maybe with understanding comes forgiveness. You don't immediately just stop hating her just like you didn't hate her in a matter of seconds. That hate accumulated for a lenghty amount of time so it's only reasonable that you chip it away bit by bit. Maybe try hard on not just focusing on her bad side and also try to see the good. Just try repairing your relationship with her day to day and see where it both leads you. You don't necessarily have to look far ahead.

The first step to stop disliking your mother is to want to stop dislikeing her. You are on the right path! Take a moment to realize your mother is the only mother you will ever have. As her child, maybe think of some fun moments you have had with her. Any happy memories when you were a little kid? Any more recent happy memories? By thinking about the good times, you can bring yourself closer to your mom. Maybe try talking to her, see if she feels like she wants to be closer with you too. I am happy that you reached out for help rather than keeping your emotions bottled up. Several people are shy and don’t reach out, and I am happy you want to address your situation. Hopefully focusing about the positive will help you see the good in your mother. Afterall, she likely has something in common with you, whether it’s a hobby, style, skill or sense of humour.

Focus on the positive, the good qualities that you love about your mother. Every one of us has a beautiful soul and a a loving heart. Maybe do things that she likes and you can enjoy together. Try to forgive yourself for the feelings of hate towards her. Loving her unconditionally, no matter what. Sometimes that can be difficult, but your mother loves you and wants the best for you even through hardships. Is it something specific she says or does to make you hate her. Maybe try and tell her if you can what makes you uncomfortable.

The first step would be to identify the reasons you think you hate your mother. It might help to actually make a list. Then be really honest with yourself. Remember, this is just for you. Are all the reasons fair? Are there things on your list that might not have been her fault? If so, mark those things off and let them go. Next, think hard on the things that are left. Can you forgive them? Forgiveness is not about the other person, but about freeing ourselves from negative emotions. Forgiveness is also a journey. It is usually not as simple as saying “I forgive you.” It is a conscious decision we have to make over and over again.

Realise that she’s a human who will make mistakes in her life, some more harmful than others. It’s hard to have empathy for people that have hurt you in some way. It also can be very difficult to let go of such strong negative feelings, especially when they are someone as close to you as a mother who is meant to be there as a trusting supporter. It might be best to try to limit contact with your mother and set boundaries, if you just can’t work things out. If you’re forced to interact with her, try to manage your emotions in a healthy way where you can control your behaviour and behave civilly towards her. Vent to friends and family members if you can, express how you feel in ways that can help you destress. Don’t ignore your feelings, you can’t deny or hide from them, in fact this may do more harm than good.