How to stop hating your mother?

You put yourself in her shoes. Have this thoughts if it were me......

Stop for a moment and listen to yourself. Why the hate? Parents were not trained on being parents, they learnt on the job, making mistakes in the process. Sometimes their mistakes hurt us but that is not their intention, they want the best for us.

Remember she puts a roof over your head. Or youd be homeless. She feeds you.. or youd starve.. she washes your clothes.. keeps you warm wjth clothes..loves you and cares about you or she wouldnt be doing these things for you.

By realizing that she is a person, too, and that she is not perfect. She might be relationship-wise our mother. But, she is, also, somebody's daughter.

For me, the easiest way to stop hating her was to try to understand how I'm involved in the problem. It's not only her own fault if we have a conflict. I try to responsabilise myself more.

It's best to try to see things from her point of view. Maybe she's overly strict because she's paranoid about your safety. Maybe she just has a separate view of how you should be raised. Or if you hate her because of her political/religious views, remember that while her views may be different than your own, she still is someone who loves you dearly and wants the best for you.

I think misunderstanding and lack of -proper- communication can lead to cold relationships between parents and children. Make sure she understands how you think and what you need

First of all you need to consider closely the reasons that you hate her. Is it because you believe that most of your problems originate from her, or did she do something that made you hate her? Part of learning to forgive is being able to separate the situation from the emotional responses you've been feeling. After you've learned to look at the situation objectively, you are going to have to make an effort to forgive. Forgiveness takes a continual effort over weeks, sometimes months. It is something you have to consciously do every time your anger arises. It may be hard at times, and sometimes you might feel like it's not worth your effort. It is then that you should remember the reasons that you are trying to forgive her. Perhaps you want to mend your relationship with her, maybe you are tired of stewing in your anger. Being angry is a toxic feeling that often ends up eating away at your own happiness. You can start writing a journal to help yourself remain goal oriented, as well as to try and write out things from your mother's angle. Try to see that they are human like you, which means that they are just as lost as most of us are at times. When you feel comfortable that you will be able to speak calmly and without bias to your mom, you should try doing so. Remember that you are so much stronger than your anger.

I can relate, but honestly, if you hate someone, it probably means you have something going on within yourself. I know it might not seem like it, but something more is probably going on.

Try to understand her. What I mean by this is to try and understand her motivations for her actions. Why does she do what she does? Is it because it's the only thing she knows how to do? Look into her history, what she cares about and so on so forth. If she truly is a 'terrible' person in that she seems to not care about you at all and wishes the worst on you, even after you've analyse her motivations and reasons, then it may be that you simply have to be patient until you have the option of leaving her and distancing yourself from her. Some things are worth being angry over, but it may be a better option to avoid the source entirely and burn that bridge.