How do you process the effects your family and parents have had on who you are, without blaming them for your problems?

I DO blame them for some of my problems, but I don't let those problems define who I am. It's okay to hold abusers responsible for what they've done for you so long as you don't use it as a free pass to get out of improving yourself and taking responsibility for your own life. I hold my parents accountable for how they've hurt me in the past, but the present and the future are solely in my hands.

During my adolescence I blamed my parents for a lot of things. But when I got older I realized that it is better to forgive and focus on the positive things. Now I know my parents taught me a lot of good things, kept my morals high and taught me to be grateful. Thank you :)

Personal experience says while parents may have set en example (good/bad) at the end of the day it's your choice on who you become. If they were a good influence definitely try to live your life with what you learned. If they were a bad influence, think of the things they did that made them be a negative influence and try not to do the same.

Take it in, and make it as a motivation might be hard to find and see it But I have been there and doing it until now

By realizing that it is possible to unlearn those that no longer serves you and relearn the lesson again. Everyone of us are shaped by our family, friends & surroundings. it's an unavoidable cycle but it doesn't mean it's the end. It is possible that the actions / effects / reactions / thoughts / words from family / parents are the lessons they learn that worked for them; however, what works for 1 person doesn't always work for another. Blaming isn't supportive for me or those around me; it's just making a decision to change and making corrections that would work for me that helps best.

Simple, we should be able to take their behaviors and use it as a "how not to" guide. Not foolproof but usable.

the effects that my family has had on my life will be something that I can tell is positive on my life.

Your parents brought u up the best way they knew they could. Nobody is perfect and they only do the best they can. But the idea is to learn from the mistakes that your parents has made and do better for yourself and your kids to come.

By understanding that everything happens for a reason. No matter how much time we spend on blaming others for what’s happening, it’ll go to waste. Instead if we constructively think about what’s actually wrong and put things into perspection, things will be a whole lot better. :)

Focus on the issues that you need to address. Assigning blame is never helpful and can keep you from working through your problems. Once you begin to solve them, you may find it easier to not blame your parents, maybe even to understand why they did what they did.