How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?

317 Answers Moderated by Polly Letsch, LCSW Updated: Aug 2, 2024

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HelpWisely on Sep 10, 2016

You can tell them that you feel much better just living your life and finding the truth for yourself instead of going to church and believing something that you do not know for sure if it's really true or not.

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Anonymous on Sep 1, 2016

There are a couple of things to consider before approaching your parents about this.  You may have to get information from your parents in order to know how to proceed.  What do your parents get from going to church?  Are they deeply spiritual and believe that church provides a path to self-awareness, closeness with God and well-being?  Are they part of a culture that demands a presence in church and failure to attend brings on shame?  What would they believe the consequences of not going to church would be?  The next thing to consider carefully is why you no longer want to go to church.  Do you not believe in the specific faith of your parents, but you do hold other important spiritual beliefs that  you hope to pursue?  Do you have no spiritual belief at all?  Do you have spiritual beliefs that do match those of your parents, but something about going to church is very difficult and uncomfortable for you?  I recommend sitting down with your parents to have a discussion that covers both topics.  

Greatlistener87 on Jun 23, 2016

If your family is a traditional christian family, there will be no easy way for you to tell them. What you have to do is sit them down and tell them why you don't wanna go to church and that you will go when u are ready/ if you want to go.

resourcefulLove83 on Jun 25, 2016

Religion is always a tricky topic. Especially when family truly believes they are creating the best life for you. When you think about speaking up, consider their reaction, and if it's worth it. Sometimes, its great to speak up for yourself. Other times, your best bet is to wait until you're old enough and have the freedom to choose not to attend religious services. This is really a case where you have to decide what is best for you, and accept your answer, even if it is hard. I wish you all the best.

Anonymous on Oct 8, 2016

In a private moment, with nothing going on, say: "I'd like to talk to you. I don't want to go to church anymore because ___." 

Before having this conversation, ask yourself: Why don't you want to go to church anymore? If it's because church makes you feel a certain way - why does church make you feel that way? Continue to think in deeper levels about this subject. This may help you find additional solutions or compromises.

Think of possible compromises you would be open to, in case the conversation goes sour. Negotations could be something like "I would be okay going to church only for special holidays," or "I would be okay going to church only once a month," or "I would be okay going to church if I can dress casual." &c. 

During the conversation, try to remain calm, open-minded, and honest, regardless of their reactions throughout.

(One day you will have the freedom to choose not to go to church, but it's possible depending on where you live that your parents may be able to force you until a certain age or circumstance.)

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Anonymous on Jul 12, 2018

Be honest to them about your beliefs and give them reasons as to why you prefer to not go. Religion is a personal choice and shouldn't be influenced by others around you; that includes parents.

Drusilla451 on Jul 29, 2017

It does depend how old you are and how long you have been going.  Also on your reasons for not wanting to go now.  If you have been going for a while and the reason you don't want to go is because you have no faith tell your parents and that you feel like a hypocrite going if you don't believe.  

CherryRulz on Jan 19, 2018

Mom/Dad I don't want to go to church because (reason why). I don't mean to offend you or anything. I just don't to cause (summary of reason why.)

Anonymous on Jul 2, 2016

You sit down calmly and relaxed  you think before you talk and you make sure you tell them from the heart. Because no one should be made to do anything they don't want to do.

WeAreExistence on Jul 22, 2016

It can be difficult, right. We look up to our parents and don't want to disappoint them. But we also have to live our own lives. Why is it that you don't want to go to church anymore?