How do I deal with the pressure my parents put on me to be who they want vs. who I am?
HaleyM
on
Mar 22, 2015
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Life's not fair; no doubt you know that already, so expecting to get your way all of the time is unrealistic. When you parents pressure you, they do so because they are passionate about You . Show your parents that you understand at least some of their passion by being willing to compromise. Try to find a middle ground into what you'd like, and what they would like. Showing you understand them will make them want to understand you.
MyPositiviTea
on
Feb 1, 2016
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coming from an asian background and always having this in the back of my mind growing up, definitely put a lot of pressure on me. all in all, i take care of myself first. without my happiness, and my piece of mind, i wouldnt be able to have a clear mind to communicate to my parents about compromising, or ultimately following my own dreams.
Harry53
on
Jan 14, 2015
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That kind of pressure, especially if it begins at an early age, can be tough to deal with. Children and teenagers naturally want to please their parents, and receive positive rewards and feedback when they do. Conversely, when they resist the pressure parents place upon them to act or be a certain way they may receive negative consequences such as anger, or parental disapproval, and that often makes resisting this pressure very difficult. When you find it difficult to be who you truly are it can be very helpful to tell yourself that no matter how hard it is for you now to resist the pressure from your parents, it will be even harder living a life that is not satisfying or fulfilling because you have accepted the one your parents have chosen for you and not the life you would have chosen for yourself. If your parents truly love you, they may not be willing or able to admit it, but in the long run they will be thrilled to see you living the life that is right for you!
gracefulForever57
on
May 23, 2015
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you need to tell your parents how you feel they put pressures on us because they want us to succeed so they do whatever it takes. tell them that you love them but that's their dream not yours
niamh333
on
May 2, 2017
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It can be really difficult when your parents expect something of you, regardless of whether you want it or not. They most likely have your best interests at heart but sometimes they don't express it that well. Be clear with them who you are and what you want, and be consistent. If you have say a job in mind, or a life path, share your plan with them. This will let them know that you are serious and have thought this through. It may also help to explain to them how you're feeling, and that the pressure they're putting you under is hard to deal with. Most importantly, always be yourself, even when it is difficult. You are amazing exactly the way you are, and your parents will come to realise that sooner or later.
Anonymous
on
Jun 29, 2015
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Treat your parents with respect, and never be close-minded to their ideas, but adopt a sense of mature independence that shows them that you're confident in who you want to be, and this will send signals that not only are you able to handle your own choices with your life, but you're happier living as who you want to be.
djcuddles123
on
Jul 26, 2016
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Stay true to yourself and overtime they'll accept you. No matter how hard it may be, always remember you are perfect the way you are.
Anonymous
on
Aug 4, 2015
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Talk openly with your parents. Tell them that you feel pressurised. i am sure they will go easy on you
Anonymous
on
Oct 25, 2016
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I deal with the pressure by trying to explain to them that I might have different views and priorities from what they might expect me to have.
Anonymous
on
Apr 1, 2015
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Finding a happy medium is important. Listening to your parents may be helpful but as an adult you must be true to yourself.
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