How do I deal with a religious family as an atheist?
wonderousPenguin
on
Jun 18, 2020
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Firstly, remember your beliefs, values and identity are yours and you are fully entitled to have them as your own, regardless of what family members have as their own beliefs. I think that is important to express this to your family.
They might not agree with you being an atheist, and maybe vice versa, but remember that there are two circles in life: ones in which you have control and one's in which you do not have control. In your case think about what you can control in this situation (i.e expressing your own beliefs). Also think about the things you cannot control (i.e. how your family thinks and feels about you being atheist). What is in the latter bubble may cause you to feel uncomfortable emotions, but also keep in mind that accepting there are some things out of our control may make you feel more at ease. If there is tension, maybe have an open conversation with them and try to express how you feel to them and they can do the same back. You might not meet eye to eye, but you might have a better understand about each others life choices.
WarriorAri
on
Sep 16, 2020
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I understand the problem. It is a big deal to religious families if their loved ones choose atheism. My family members did not support it at all when I first told them. But with time everything improved. You can give yourself some time so that they can understand the situation. And if you are closer to any of them you can tell him /her why did you choose to be an atheist. You can share the problem frankly. That person can help you by supporting. And I think dont let them understand that you have been transformed to a complete different human being. You can hang out with them or do anything, but whenever it comes to God and religion you can keep boundaries.
hopebeyondpain
on
Dec 3, 2020
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Generally speaking, respect is always the way to go. The extent of this largely depends on whether or not your family knows you are atheist and whether they respect your choice.
Regardless, it's okay that you're atheist, so long as you're respectful of your family's religion, just as you would anyone's religion. Keep the peace as much as possible until you're able to leave them.
If your family insists on trying to convert you or demand that you participate in religious activities, and you can't say no, then try to tolerate it until you can be financially independent and have a place of your own. If it means they'll loosen their grip on you, go ahead and pretend to be religious until you're free from them.
If it is a matter of you supporting a different cause from your family (eg. regarding abortion or LGBTQ+), then try to respectfully debate objectively about the subject. If they can't be persuaded, let it go. Their beliefs are not your responsibility, and if disputing it will only make things worse for you, then feel free to focus on people whose mindsets you can change. It could be friends who have adopted certain mindsets you disagree with from their families, or teachers who are exploring various perspectives.
Either way, just life your life, and let go of the things you can't change
kaybaby2389
on
Jan 16, 2021
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Put myself in their shoes and do not judge, Be empathetic and try to understand the emotions and feelings they are experiencing related to their religion. Understand their religion more in depth by maybe doing some research on what that specific religion entails and what it means for them and their community. Do not include that you are non religious because that wouldn't help the situation at all and would not inspire that you are sympathetic to their issues and their religion. Always allow the client to lead the conversations and make them aware that you care about what they are going through.
Sunisshiningandsoareyou
on
Mar 19, 2021
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Hii , being an atheist and having to be around a religious family is so not easy, there can be alot of conflicts and clashes in beliefs and opinions and these can be very deterring. I feel, while we do have our own opinions and should have the freedom to practice what we feel and make our own beliefs, it's difficult when people around us are not accepting of it . Do you feel maybe talking to them about your views could be helpful? Sharing how you feel and what you feel , maybe if needed , explaining why you don't feel comfortable being religious and reassuring that you dont have anything against their beliefs, just that these are somethings you dont really agree on and that should be okay. We can always try and foster a comfortable space in the family , where even if we don't agree with someone's beliefs we can assure them that we do respect their personal choice and lowkey expect the same. It's all a matter of how we look at the world, it can be different for all, but as long as there's good communication and respect for each other's beliefs, I feel it should be fine to create a healthy atmosphere.
Greatlistener87
on
Jun 15, 2016
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You can't easily break a cultural and religious bringing up especially if they have been into it for many many years. The idea is to understand and respect as they have their own believe and culture and it might not be what you agree with, but still its their way to peace.
tinyCat07
on
Jun 15, 2016
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Try to explain how different point of view everyone has. The same way they choose their lifestyle, is how you choose your lifestyle
Anonymous
on
Jun 18, 2016
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I think the most important step is to be clear that you don't share their beliefs anymore, but despite that, you can still be a loving family member. Regardless of religion or lack thereof, family should still respect and support you. Letting the difference in thought divide you might only make it worse.
Ambrose001
on
Jun 20, 2016
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Be yourself, religion is a choice and we have the right to choose what to believe and if you don't believe in that then you have that right too :)
Anonymous
on
Jun 23, 2016
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It depends on how open minded they are about religion. If you think they can accept you for being atheist, you could try talk about it with them and see their reactions on it. If they react too badly I would suggest not tell them that you are atheist. I'm not saying that you should lie, but in some situations, like this one, lying is the only way you can prevent chaos and conflict. Just talk about it with them indirectly, for example, "hew dad/mom/sister/etc, what do you think about atheism?" And if they start being too strict on you merely because you mentioned this subject, it would imply that this is not something you can open up to them. Whatever you choose to do, I'm sure you'll do the right thing. No onw knows your family like you do, therefore you're the one who has most knowledge on what to do here.
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