How can I tell my parents they're expecting too much of me?
20 Answers
Moderated by Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Updated: Mar 8, 2021
emmynems
on
Nov 2, 2014
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Telling you're parents that they're expecting too much of you can be a really hard thing to do. I know in my situation, I feel like it's the least I can do to meet my parents exceptions considering how much they've done for me. From personal experience, I would recommend sitting them down in a non-combative way and express your feelings to them. Don't take the route of anger because that will only cause the situation to escalate before you can really talk about anything. Calmly express your feelings to them and communicate as best as you can so they can understand what you're feeling. You'd be surprised at their own ability to reflect and help fix the situation.
Anonymous
on
Nov 2, 2014
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Irony is that you probably can't in a way they will understand and more importantly accept it.
Not knowing more i can not give you an universal answer.So i will tell you how can you cope.
Knowing those shoes i can assume you are feeling too much pressure that leads to plain pointless stress , maybe even anger or anxiety . Having sad that you need to realise you are not here to please anyone or rather even if you wanted to you probably understand by now it is impossible. Be your self and try to be the best You you can be. It will make you feel happy and than some of that can spill on other people in your environment.
Also it might help if you try to understand there point of view and by NO circumstances do you repeat my mistake of arguing with your family or trying to make them understand your point of view. It never works just makes everyone stressed. Don't argue and do your best . Much love and good luck :)
Kathlyng90
on
Oct 24, 2014
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You have to tell them directly just that. Your parents love you and want only the best for you I am sure. Sit down with them and say calmly, you are trying your best and you feel the pressure they're putting on you is too much and they are expecting over what you are capable of right now.
mayank4u
on
Oct 27, 2014
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every parents expect too much from their children as they want best for them But every child is not same and every child is unique. Tell them that too much burden and pressure making you unhappy and you are not able to preform well.
Anonymous
on
Jun 17, 2015
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You could try sharing your feelings about this with them, at a time when you are all calm and open to talking.
Anonymous
on
Dec 23, 2015
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When you believe someone expects too much of you, or much more than you can handle, you have two options; to sink or to swim. To sink involves giving them the power while submitting and nonverbally informing them "I'm beat, done, and defeated." To sink is when you say you cannot accomplish something, for it is too much to handle. To swim involves proving them wrong and nonverbally informing them "Yeah, I can do it." To swim is to take on all challenges and expectations, and to accomplish them. How is this done? Simply through perserverance and determination. You may have to cancel going to that party, or refuse to go to that movie or person's house, and it could even just be simply working on the mission before you sleep or during your free time. However in the end, when all the time spent working adds up, and the task is accomplished, you have completed what you chose to do, and swam.
AgusD96
on
Mar 13, 2018
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The best choice with parents is to never confront violently. You have to be respectful, and also be self-confident with what you're going to tell so that they respect you too. For parents its easy to impose themselves and if they see you are "weak" they'll take advantage of that. So you should go to them, straight forward, ask them to talk about something that is making you feel bad, and with all certainty, tell them what you think.
Anonymous
on
Dec 27, 2014
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Try saying you feel overworked. Parents often expects a lot from children because they want them to have good jobs in the future, it is often because they love you but instead they make the child feel overwhelmed. Try not too think about it too much as hard as it sounds, it might be just because they just loves you :)
Anonymous
on
Jan 2, 2015
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Being honest with them and telling them that you can't fufill every expectation as it will hurt both of you equally.
naturalBlossom98
on
Apr 30, 2018
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You could try to sit down with them and calmly tell them that you are only capable of doing so much. If you are unable to talk to them, speak to an older relative or person of trust and ask them
To speak to your parents on your behalf.
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