How can I tell my mother in law to back off?

I appreciate your concern and advice, but I feel this is my responsibility and I'd appreciate it if you let my partner & I handle this situation. Thank you.

Will be easier if you partner is supportive with you in this matter, but you can be respectful and tell her you need you space to create your family, just like she needed when she got married and created her family. So, doesn't mean you don't like her to be around since it's your family, but needs to give you some space to learn how to deal with your family

This can be a hard one, you don't want to make her mad but you also want to show her compassion that you do care about her but you need your own space for you and your spouse. You might suggest that she call before coming over to visit, limit visits to once every couple of weeks, but be kind; she is your spouse's mother.

Pulling her to the side to tell her that she's being a little overbearing and that you appreciate her help but to leave everything to you and your husband/wife to decide

Have a chat on mutual grounds, tell her how you feel, tell her you don't always appreciate her help, but be nice about it... anger and resentment could only make things worse

First you should make sure that you are calm and not agitated. You should sit down and have a calm talk about what is bothering you.

One method you could take is to talk to your significant other about how you are feeling toward your mother in law. Your significant other would be a nicer approach rather than you confronting her.

This is a huge question that has many parts. I'll do my best to give a little bit of a general answer for a starting point of reference. Mother in laws are a force to be reckoned with because they are used to being in charge of their family and their children. As such, they expect at times to assume that same role and try to take over the ongoing situations in their children's marriage. First, take a moment to understand that it is a mother's nature to incline herself to do such things, she's been doing it for years! It's not entirely her fault she falls into her common habit. Now. Remember what she is doing is a habit. An annoying one perhaps. The way to break bad habits is to stop reinforcing the behavior. Meaning, look at where she is over stepping her boundaries. Is she too nosy and expects to barge into your house uninvited whenever she wants? Is she choosing your children's daycare? Your honeymoon destination? Time to make a list of things she does that bothers you, AND talk to your spouse. This as much their problem as it is yours. They will have to stand up to their mother too, so you have a solid front. If your spouse keeps bending to their mother's will, your efforts will go no where. Once you have an idea what habits you need your mother in law to back off from, start implementing methods for this to happen. If she barges into your home at 8am and doesn't leave until 8pm, running your life all day, change the locks. Make new rules. She can come over for dinner and story time with the kids. Or at 8am for helping with breakfast and then take them to school at 9, but that's it. It's your house, it's your family, it's your private time. It's always a nice gesture to tell your mother in law that you appreciate her help and her advice, but to kindly remind her that you and your spouse are adults with your own mind and your own idea about how a family should grow.

Do it gracefully, without any insinuation. Treat her with respect but don't yield to her demands. Always remain calm, respectful and kind as we deal with such an elder entity in our spouse' life, we want a good result and progress, not to transgress.

Telling your mother In law to back off is sort of serious. I suggest negotiating with her and asking why she is so obsessive.