how can I spend time with my family but not let them stress me out?

I think it’s really important to set boundaries. If you’re able to talk to them and let them know exactly what it is that stresses you out I would try that. If you can’t talk to them about that then I would suggest taking timeouts when you start to feel stressed. If things get to be too much just politely excuse yourself and take a few minutes for yourself to just breathe and calm down.

Time limitation. Family can be tough even for people who have good relationships with them, pressure, expectations etc can be draining so I recommend making visits with family short and sweet. Call them if you don't feel up to visiting. If you do want to spend time with them try to steer conversation away from anything that causes you stress and if you feel overwhelmed have an exit strategy- an 'errand' to run or a meeting to get to. Your mental health comes first remember.

I think this question is really a question about boundaries which in turn is a question of "what do I need to be physically and emotionally safe." As the answer to this question will vary by the individual there is no one size fits all. However, how to set and assert boundaries is a common concern it is worthy looking at ways others have dealt with the problem. Literature suggest that when it comes to toxic relationships that can't be avoided certain frameworks such as the grey rock meathod and toxic toolkit can be effective. But in the end it's really how you answer your own question of "What dose feeling safe mean to me, and how can I achieve physical and emotional safety when I am around this person."

Having a strained relationship with your family is really hard. Learn to set boundaries with them and how to manage your emotions more through coping techniques, maybe go to the bathroom if you start to feel uncomfortable. I usually try to get along for as long as I can, and take breaks when necessary. It's okay to struggle in the beginning, but it's definitely worth it to rebuild that bond. Maybe have one on one talks with your parents and siblings about whats been bothering you, and let them know how they can help you. I hope this helps even a little!