Is it possible to have an eating disorder without wanting it? I skip meals a lot but not on purpose, I don't want to be skinny, I want to be normal, but I cant stop starving myself. Help?

This is completely possible! In fact, no one with an eating disorder actually wants it. Our brains are good at romanticizing the idea of it, but in reality it just makes sufferers miserable and lose self worth. If the thought of eating brings you anxiety or fear, to the point were you avoid eating, then you're most likely experiencing disordered thoughts and behaviors. Also, observe how you feel after eating. Do you feel guilty? If you're simply suffering from low appetite, and food doesn't make you anxious/guilty, you may not be disordered. However, I would still talk to your doctor. For many, eating disorders aren't necessarily to lose weight/change the body, but rather to feel some sense of control or purpose. Other times, they serve as a way to feel special. I would encourage you to get help soon before this spirals out of control. Getting some guidance from a professional can be more helpful than you expected! I wish you good health and well-being.