I don't know if I have an eating disorder. How can I tell if I don't perfectly fit any criteria but I have a messed up relationship with food and eating?

Eating disorders are about how it affects our mind, but even if you don't any criteria doesn't mean it's not a real struggle if you feel it is. It all comes down to how it makes you feel. Disordered eating is the abnormal eating behavior (better said: the unhealthy relationship with food) and it can affects someone's life as well, in many ways. The only difference between disordered eating and an eating disorder, is how often/severe the behaviors are: but both are real, both can be a struggle for the person having it. And disordered eating can turn into an eating disorder as well. It's hard to say if you have an eating disorder, because we can't diagnose here. But look at how it makes you struggle: does it make social situations harder? Do you have trouble in day-to-day things? Is it affecting your physical or emotional/mental health? Does it affect your school/work/friends/family relations? If yes, then that's a sign it's affecting you in some way - and that you might have an eating disorder. Because they're mental disorders, the eating behaviors are just symptoms of a struggle in our mind.. and the struggle matters :)

You can have a disorder even if you do not perfectly fit the criteria. Everyone is different, and illness can be manifested in different ways. Sometimes, people have an idea of how a disorder should "look" and stereotype it when, in reality, it can look very different. The best way to know is to talk to a professional who can give you a diagnosis. Regardless if you do or not have an eating disorder, you can get help to have a better and healthier relationship with food and eating.