Is it normal for me to feel so ashamed, confused and lost after a traumatic event?

It depends on how shocking has been the event for you. Some people are more sensitive than others when it comes to unpleasant events

It is normal for you to feel so ashamed and lost after traumatic event because you thought about it for a long time to where you're wondering if you try something new it'll result in the same situation and you don't know where to go.

Yes, it is normal, and you deserve to have those feelings validated. It is actually very healthy to feel the feelings, instead of pushing them down only for them to come back again later. Personally, I can relate to what you are feeling. I felt ashamed because I stayed in the relationship for so long and I felt confused, because when my abuser killed himself, I was literally at conflict with myself. I may sound harsh when I say this, but it is real , when my abuser {husband) committed suicide, I found myself dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions, from complete despair and sadness to almost feeling a sense of relief knowing he was gone and would never be able to conrol me or hurt me again. At the same time, however, I was heartbroken, for my kids mostly, being cheated and robbed of a normal happy childhood and having a father. Lost is putting how I felt mildly. Even now, 8 years after his death, I am still trying to process it all and all of these emotions still linger. So to answer your question, yes, it is normal to feel ashamed, confused and lost after trauma. Whatever emotions you are feeling are what is normal for you, there is no right or wrong way to feel, or any specific amount of time. The one thing that is for certain is that talking, writing, any outlet you can find to help lighten the weight of carrying all of this on your own is always vital to behinning to heal