Am I allowed to start being upset and getting help for emotional abuse 3 years after it happened?

Yes, you are. Just as how you can relive positive emotions from fond memories, it's only natural to feel upset because of something that happened in the past. And since it's abuse, it isn't just a memory, but something that impacted your life. So of course it's allowed. You might not have allowed yourself to feel these emotions before, or at least not fully and not accepting them. It's important to feel them now, and to have help processing them and recovering from them. Time doesn't heal old wounds, it makes us forget our emotions. But we can't forget what we have yet to process and acknowledge.

Yes, of course! It takes a while for some people to realize what was going on, or to feel it. It depends on the person, and it's great that you're at least looking for help now, even if it's been a long time.

Any kind of abuse is traumatizing and it takes bravery and strength to get help whenever you choose do if you choose to. Even if you’ve recently began hurting from it it is still abuse and you survived it and it is valid for you to feel this way and start getting help whenever you’re ready. Getting help is an important step that you are considering and it can be fought to make that decision, but you are deserving of help and you are not weak for feeling the damage after three years. Any kind of abuse is serious and I am proud of you for recognizing that you might need help.

Of course! People take time to really digest what happens, especially after a traumatic event. Being upset and seeking help after 3 years should not trivialize your experiences or emotions about it in any shape or form, you have the right to feel this type of way! Emotional abuse is a heavy topic and, depending on how hard it impacted an individual, it can take anywhere from a few days to many years to start gaining courage to seek help or even realize that it was abuse that you suffered through. Always seek help when you feel like you need it, you know yourself best!

Getting help is not a race. If you finally can feel comfortable getting help, then please do so. Taking care of yourself is always important. Some people don't deal with their trauma for decades. You're doing great, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sometimes it takes us a while to be able to process what has happened so that we can really get down to what is going on internally. That time could be as little as a day or as long as a decade. There is no proper amount of time in order to help yourself grow and thrive. You're doing what you need to. You can do this.

You are "allowed" to feel whatever you feel for as long as you feel it. There is no rule for how long certain things bother us. You can take as long as you need to process it, I truly hope you can some day come to peace with it all and it won't hurt as bad. I won't say that it will ever not hurt, but hopefully with time it won't hurt as badly. If you ever want to talk about it this is the perfect place to do just that, and if you want to speak to a professional, we can assist you with that as well. Good luck to you!

Absolutely! Many people reach out for help several years after emotional abuse has occurred. Sometimes it takes a while for us to feel ready to ask for help, and that's okay. If you're feeling ready now, there are many mental health professionals out there who will welcome you with open arms. It's also completely okay to start feeling upset several years later. Our feelings don't always "make sense". Sometimes we feel okay when we think we should feel upset, and sometimes we feel upset when we think she should feel okay. Your feelings don't need to occur at a specific time for them to be justified and valid.

First of all, you don’t need anyone’s permission. You’re allowed to feel how you want to feel about emotional abuse three minutes, three months, three years or three decades after it happened. That is for no one else to have propriety over but yourself. All those emotions may be bottled up at this point like a volcano, read to blow. So it’s important to create and implement a lifestyle that supports healthy expression of your anger, sadness and fear so it doesn’t erupt at inopportune times. Some activities to try could be painting, flower arranging and writing. Some lifestyle changes could be eating healthier somehow, or maybe drinking more water. If you’re not sure what works for you or where you’re at, let yourself try things! And most importantly, LET YOURSELF SUCK AT THEM. We may have perfectionistic views of how therapeutic activities and lifestyle changes SHOULD work, or critical ideas of how we do them. That’s just nonsense that someone who didn’t know how to love themselves taught us, or toxic, societal thinking. Learning a few tools like body relaxation, breath work and sense exercises could help. Rewarding yourself and giving yourself little celebrations (a fist in the air is enough) will be enough to gradually establish and build a lifestyle that allows all emotions in a healthy, wealthy and happy manner.

You can get help at any time. Sometimes, it takes a while to recognize that, they need support and help. You know when you are ready to seek support and help. No one should force another person into getting support and help when they are not ready. It takes a lot of courage and guts to admit that they need help. You have a right to your feelings. How long you feel upset is up to you. Please, do not listen to people who say, "get over it already". What you went through was very painful. Please take all the time you need to heal and recover from this event. Maybe join a support group in your area that is for victims of emotional abuse. I am very proud of you, for getting the support and help that you need. It is a step in the right direction. I hope this answers your questions. Thank you for raising such important questions. By asking these questions you are helping others as well.